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 Welcome to Sexy TIMES!This blog will report various, often random and sometimes dubious thoughts, quirks, observations, trivia, tales, questions, dreams, rants, opinions, truths, musings, stories, lies, hopes, moans, fantasies, etc in the hope of tempting you to get involved. Our mission is to put the facts in the public domain! Please feel free to write a letter to the editor at LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. Back issues of Sexy TIMES are available at INDEX OF BACK ISSUESSexy TIMES editor: spunkycumfun, Esq. Sexy TIMES proprietor: Rupert Murdoch Sexy TIMES executive designer: [blog cherimore] The editor and, of course, the proprietor take no responsibility for accuracy of the content, nor any responsibility for the propriety of how the content was gathered. Otherwise, Sexy TIMES subscribes to the highest ethical standards of journalism. |
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BIG BAWS
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Posted:Dec 18, 2012 10:56 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2014 3:30 am
12976 Views
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Weetabix, the makers of the popular cereal Weetos, recently apologised for any offence caused by one of its promotional cartoon moustaches.
A Weetabix spokeswoman said, "The current Weetos pack features a series of cartoon moustaches, one of which is named 'Big Baws' which s a play on words for 'big boss'".
Baws is a Scottish slang term for testicles; big baws refers to big balls or big bollocks!
It will be interesting to see how sales of Weetos go in Scotland. We can imagine lots of wanting Big Baws!
Inside are pictures of the Weetos' Big Baws cartoon moustache and a Big Baws man!
Have you come across any other marketing blunders?
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RIDING THE HERSHEY HIGHWAY
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Posted:Dec 17, 2012 12:59 pm
Last Updated:Nov 29, 2014 11:30 am
13936 Views
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Riding the Hershey highway means having anal sex, named after Hershey's chocolate. Back door entry, going to brown town and ass fucking are also other terms for anal intercourse.
Pegging is when a woman, wearing a strap-on dildo, has anal sex with another person.
Have you had anal sex?
Have you pegged or have you been pegged?
Do you like anal sex?
Do you like giving or receiving?
Do you prefer anal sex with or without lubricant?
Would you like to pass on any hints on having anal sex?
Inside are a few combinations of anal sex!
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SIX FANNIES
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Posted:Dec 16, 2012 12:01 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2013 1:15 am
12754 Views
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An American and a Brit would both agree there are six fannies in the photo above. But an American would say the fannies are below and the Brit would say above.
An American fanny is an a woman's ass. A British fanny is a woman's pussy. An American fanny-pack is a Brit bum-bag. An American fanny is a Brit's bum; a Brit's fanny is an American ass. But an American ass is a British arse; and a British pussy is an American weakling.
How did all that come about?
When I first went to the US, I was amazed that American English dictionaries were sold in bookshops. Naively I wondered why the Americans needed a special dictionary just for words like center, organization and program, rather than the English words centre, organisation and programme.
Brits say football, Americans say soccer!
Brits say crisps, Americans say chips!
Brits say a lift, Americans say an elevator!
Brits say toilets, Americans say restrooms!
One British man said, "In a car park by a secluded woodland, I met a lush woman for a shag while out dogging."
His American friend observed, "I don't understand, why would you chase and insult a drunken woman for a haircut in a wood?"
Will British English and American English become so different, over time, that we will not easily understand each other?
How different is Australian, Canadian and New Zealand English to British English?
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master - that's all."
[source: Lewis Caroll, Through the Looking Glass, 1872]
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THE SPAGHETTI TREE HOAX
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Posted:Dec 15, 2012 10:17 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2013 1:15 am
13559 Views
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The spaghetti tree hoax is a famous hoax that was broadcasted on April Fools’ Day, 1957. It was shown by the BBC in its current affairs flagship programme, Panorama. About eight million people watched the programme narrated by the respected broadcaster Richard Dimbleby.
Panorama reported on one family in southern Switzerland during the harvest of their spaghetti trees. It told the story of a bumper spaghetti harvest after a mild winter and the disappearance of a spaghetti-eating weevil.
Hundreds of viewers phoned into the BBC. Some viewers even phoned the BBC to get advice about growing their own spaghetti trees. The BBC advised them to "place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best".
In the 1950s, pasta was not widely eaten in Britain. Spaghetti, with tomato sauce, was mainly sold in tins and only eaten by a few people. Most British people then were unaware that spaghetti is pasta made from wheat flour and water.
Decades later, CNN called this broadcast "the biggest hoax that any reputable news establishment ever pulled."
And no one died from this hoax!
What's the best hoax you have come across?
Have you been hoaxed?
Have you hoaxed someone?
Inside are a couple of pictures of the fictitious harvest of spaghetti trees.
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PIMPING
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Posted:Dec 14, 2012 12:23 pm
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2013 1:14 am
13680 Views
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There are many great pictures posted by bloggers on this site. Clearly a few of the pictures have been taken by the bloggers themselves, but many seem, very understandably, to have been uploaded from other sites and possibly from other Couples Dating members' profiles, blogs, etc.
We use pictures on our blog from sources outside Couples Dating, except some bling kindly given to us by Couples Dating bling-makers (whom we credit). We do not cite our sources if pictures are found elsewhere. Should we?
What are the conventions about pimping pictures?
Should members cite their sources? Or is it okay not to cite sources?
Presumably, once pictures are uploaded onto blogs, they are 'owned' by Couples Dating under its Terms of Use rather than by its members who upload pictures onto the site.
We are happy for our pictures posted to be recycled elsewhere without being credited. Do you feel the same?
The reason we don't post pictures of ourselves having sex is simply that we don't have many, and what pictures we have are posted on our profile. We prefer to have sex than take or pose for photos of our sex.
Do you like taking pictures or making videos when having sex?
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3
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SPIT-ROAST
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Posted:Dec 13, 2012 3:06 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2013 1:14 am
14014 Views
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A spit-roast involves three people. Often the woman is kneeling down while she sucks a man's cock one end and another man takes her doggy-style the other end. A spit-roast can ivolve anal sex and it can also involve a woman using a strap-on.
We love a spit-roast!
There are lots of combinations for the spit-roast - MFM, FMM, MMF, MFF, FMF, FFM, MMM, and FFF.
Have you been spit-roasted?
Have you been involved in a spit-roast?
Would you like to try a spit-roast?
Inside are a few more pictures of spit-roasting!
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A TESTICLE SQUEEZE!
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Posted:Dec 12, 2012 9:36 pm
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2014 3:30 am
14816 Views
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Above is a photo of Vinnie Jones squeezing Paul Gascoigne's balls during a football game between Wimbledon and Newcastle United on 6 February 1988.
Below is a story, as reported by China News 24, of a man killed by a woman squeezing his balls!
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Woman Kills Man By Squeezing His Testicles
The man on the graphic photo below is a 42-year-old shop owner in the Meilan District of Haikou City, in Hainan, that big island south of mainland China. He is dead. A 41-year-old woman killed him. By squeezing his testicles.
Update: Yes, you can die from extreme testicular pain. Here's the scientific explanation, by urologist and San Diego Sexual Medicine's director Dr. Irwin Goldstein.
According to witnesses talking to China News 24, the woman was riding a scooter and tried to park it in front of the man's shop. She was going to pick up her , who attends the elementary school in that neighborhood.
The man went out of the shop and told her that she couldn't park her scooter there. She protested and a the shouting match started. After a while they started to fight physically. The woman called her husband and brother, who came to the scene. But things got a lot worse than just a few smacks here and there: the woman grabbed the man's testicles and squeezed them so hard and long that the man shutdown. He collapsed on the ground out of the pain and, worse, he was dead. Yes, people. dead by ballsqueeze.
The paramedics tried to revive him on the spot to no avail. He was rushed to the hospitals, but doctors couldn't do anything for him. I really want to know what the death certificate says. And I really want to know how the hell one can die from ballsqueezing.
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Is balls-squeezing part of your sexual repertoire?
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PREMIER INN
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Posted:Dec 11, 2012 10:52 am
Last Updated:Apr 4, 2017 10:42 am
17359 Views
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Premier Inn is the UK's largest hotel brand, with over 50,000 rooms and more than 650 hotels. It also has hotels in Ireland, India, Abu Dhabi and Dubai.
Premier Inn hotels are often located in towns, cities and near major roads and motorways. Their rooms are reasonably priced, clean and spacious (and sometimes having two double beds!). Also they do all-you-can-eat beakfasts! The hotels are always located next to a pub with a restaurant – perfect for meeting up!
We have lots of sexy memories of meeting couples for sex at a Premier Inn! You check-in and check-out; but the excitement and anticipation of meeting a couple, the fantastic and naughty conversations, and the wonderful sex in the bedroom is what happens in between!
It would not surprise us if at least one gathering, maybe two gatherings, at a Premier Inn on a Friday and Saturday evening are swinging! Premier Inn does very well out of swingers in Britain who often choose to meet at one of their many hotels. Premier Inn should offer a swingers discount!
Premier Inn was the first major budget hotel chain in the UK to invest in prime-time television advertising. The comedian, Lenny Henry, is the face of Premier Inn’s television adverts. The adverts, with the slogan ‘everything is premier but the price’, often claim that rooms start from £29 per night, but we have never known anyone who has got a room at that price.
Whitbread, the owners of Premier Inn (plus Costa Coffee), was founded in 1742 as a brewery. It established the first purpose-built mass-production brewery in Britain. Whitbread owned lots of pubs that served food, and it just built hotels next door to its pubs – a brilliant business model! Premier Inn hotels now provide 70% of the total earnings of its owners, Whitbread.
Have you had a hotel rendezvous for sex?
Have you ever stayed in a Premier Inn hotel?
Have you booked a Premier Inn room for £29?
Do you like hotel breakfasts?
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ORAL SEX SUCKS!
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Posted:Dec 10, 2012 9:35 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2013 8:18 am
15069 Views
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Many people we know absolutely love oral sex, both giving and receiving. They say it's one of the best things about sex, essential foreplay and the best way to orgasm.
For us, oral sex is good but not that good. When we think of the things we like doing sexually, oral sex is not top or even near the top of our list. Perhaps we are not doing it right!?
Do you love oral sex?
Is it better to give or receive?
How good is oral sex compared to other sex?
Do you have any good tips on how to do oral sex?
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5
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CARNIVAL
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Posted:Dec 9, 2012 1:58 pm
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2014 12:42 am
14770 Views
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Carnivals are sexy!
Carnival is a festival, which occurs immediately before Lent usually during February.
Carnival typically involves a street celebration and parade with people often dressing up as masquerade.
Have you been to a carnival? If so, what was it like? Did you dress up?
Would you like to go to a carnival? Would you dress up?
Inside are some more details about carnival.
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BAD SEX
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Posted:Dec 7, 2012 12:40 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2016 11:31 am
14654 Views
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The 2012 Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction award was given to the Canadian novelist, Nancy Huston, for her writing about sex in her novel, Infrared. The award’s judges were impressed with how bad she wrote about sex.
In her book, she wrote about "flesh, that archaic kingdom that brings forth tears and terrors, nightmares, babies and bedazzlements", and "my sex swimming in joy like a fish in water". She did not attend the ceremony held in Paris to collect her award.
The award judges controversially overlooked the two favourites. JK Rowling, in her book The Casual Vacancy, was not shortlisted because she was not bad enough. EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey was not eligible for the award as pornographic and explicitly erotic novels are precluded from the competition.
In 2010, Tony Blair’s autobiography, A Journey, was nominated for the Bad Sex in Fiction Award. The former Prime Minister was nominated for a purple passage about the night spent with his wife Cherie following the news of the Labour leader John Smith's sudden death: "That night she cradled me in her arms and soothed me; told me what I needed to be told; strengthened me. On that night of 12 May 1994, I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct".
Tony Blair became the next Labour Party leader and Prime Minister. Alastair Campbell, the Press Secretary when Blair was Prime Minister, used to write soft porn for the sex advice magazine Forum, under the name The Riviera .
Previous winners of the Bad Sex in Fiction award include the Tom Wolfe, Sebastian Faulks, Norman Mailer and John Updike.
Have you come across any bad erotic fiction?
Do you like erotic fiction? If so, what are your favourite authors and books?
Do you write any erotic fiction?
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ORGY
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Posted:Dec 6, 2012 1:55 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2013 2:08 am
14542 Views
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Japan holds the world record for the hosting the biggest orgy - 250 couples. The event, held in a warehouse, was filmed and can be purchased on DVD.
The couples did not swap partners; they only had sex with each other. That's cheating; that is not an orgy! An orgy has to involve sex and lots of sex with more than one person, doesn't it!?
What is an orgy?
How many people do you need for an orgy?
We've met many people have a fantasy of being involved in an orgy. But also many people are slightly scared of the idea of an orgy. We have been to a few sex parties, with orgy-esque scenes developing as the evening unfolded.
Do you have a fantasy of being in an orgy?
What sort of orgy would you like to be in?
Have you been in an orgy? Did you enjoy it?
If you haven't been in an orgy, would you go to one if invited?
Orgy stems from the Greek term, orgia, deriving from the ancient mystery religions, where people would meet in secret to achieve an ecstatic union with the divine.
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To link to this blog (spunkycumfun) use [blog spunkycumfun] in your messages.
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