Pass the Alka Seltzer..............
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Posted:Feb 24, 2008 3:19 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2013 11:48 am
9692 Views
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Oh my God, I'm hungover to fuck!!!
Going to my capital for a few beers to watch the rugby seemed a good idea at the time but at this precise moment, I'm not so sure.............
It started way too early for me.....like 10.30 in the morning. Huge breakfast in a pub with a pint of the finest to kick off with. Jeez that first one was like drinking sand!
Before I knew it, the teams were out on the pitch and I'm three quarters pissed.....bloody Stella! Lol
Our group moved on after the game......"somewhere that plays music" I said.
Hmmmmm not one of my better proposals as I ended up cracking my head on the floor doing the "Cotton Eye Joe" thing. Bollocks!
I've tried to blame the wet floor but I dont think anyone believes me  
So here i am, sat in bed nursing the mother of all hangovers (ended up on Jack Daniels n Coke) with an elbow that looks like someones stuck an orange on it and ribs that cry out "You knob" everytime I move! 
(A bruised and battered) SAM
Song of the moment:
Justin Timberlake..."Sexyback"
Gave it the big one to this before I went on my arse! 
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Through the end of him....................
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Posted:Feb 17, 2008 1:25 am
Last Updated:Nov 28, 2013 11:55 am
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After reading a post about having your "bits" pierced, it got me thinking......... 
Perhaps I've been unlucky, perhaps I've lived a sheltered life, perhaps I'm not adventurous enough but the closest I've got to having my "bits" with chunks of metal attached is back in the eighties when I had both my ears pierced.....
I can STILL remember the look on my fathers face!
Anyhow, nowadays its seems having your clit, penis, fraenulum, labia, scrotum etc with bars, rings and beads attached is in some circles seen as a trump card, an ace up your sleeve kind of thing....... 
But why I ask myself??????
I can understand how piercings of this type will/could increase the pleasure during lovemaking but seeing as I've never been with a woman who has taken any kind of plunge in this department, I cant exactly speak from experience!
I'm too squeamish to walk into my local body piercing parlour and asking for a Prince Albert or having scrotal beads inserted but just curious to know if this kind of thing hits the spot.......
SAM
Song of the moment:
Kings of Leon....."Fans"
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Books........................
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Posted:Feb 11, 2008 1:55 pm
Last Updated:Feb 24, 2008 12:09 am
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Over the last few years, one thing that I've neglected badly is my reading. My vocabulary has somewhat diminuished and when speaking, I sometimes find it hard to place THAT word.....then again, perhaps I'm just getting old!
I've recently finished a Jeremy Clarkson book which I thoroughly enjoyed. Love him or loathe him, he doesnt pull any punches and says it how it is. With his sharp humour and ability to question how the world operates, it makes for a decent read.....certainly my kind of author.
A very learned friend of mine has recommended the works of Bill Bryson as "ones to have a look at".
After reading some quotations from his revered Travel Guides, a copy will soon be next to my bed.......
(His brief description of Kenya had me in stitches! )
Any similar authors to consider????
SAM
Song of the moment:
Manic Street Preachers.."Motorcycle emptiness"
Possibly my favourite track by this band!
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Firing squad...................
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Posted:Feb 10, 2008 4:15 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2008 10:28 am
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All quiet in the Sam household.......my only day off this week and its gonna be one of those lazy ones cos I seriously need to recharge my batteries!
This one cracked me up when I heard it........
Four soldiers sat in a cell, nervously awaiting a firing squad in the morning...Englishman, Welshman, Scotsman and an Irishman. The seargeant major asked them if they had one last request.......
The welshman stood up.." I'd love to hear a male voice choir sing Land Of My fathers"
The Irishman asked " I'd love to see 1000 dancers performing the Riverdance"
The Scotsman said " Can I hear 500 bagpipes play the Flower Of Scotland?"
The Englishman came forward and whispered in the seargeant majors ear " I got one....can I be shot first??" 
SAM
Song of the moment:
Scouting for girls..."Elvis aint dead"
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Ahem........................
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Posted:Feb 2, 2008 10:45 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2008 10:28 am
9309 Views
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England 19 Wales 26
What happened??
SAM
Song of the moment:
Anonymous.."You can shove your fucking chariots up yer arse!"
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Anyone see............
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Posted:Jan 29, 2008 1:56 pm
Last Updated:Mar 6, 2012 2:04 pm
9177 Views
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....a programme last night on TV about "fake" babies????
I shut my laptop down after doing a bit of homework in readiness for the morning and flicked the TV on for a quick browse before calling it a night.
What followed was quite an eye opener
To summarize, it was a fly on the wall documentary about women who had an overwhelming interest in babies. When I say babies, I mean dolls....albeit very life like ones with hair, fingernails, crinkly palms....catch my drift?
One very well heeled lady had a whole range of clothes to put on her baby...pyjamas, shoes, hats, tops..along with different types of prams to suit every occasion. Yep, she was fully prepared to take baby for walks once she had flown to America to be united with her new baby. (which cost a small fortune I might add)
Unfortunately, it all ended in tears as after two days of "bonding", a small crack was found in the babies head and that was the end of that! Back out with the bubblewrap, in the box.....see ya later alligator. Another waste of money!
Case number 2
A woman whose emigrated to New Zealand with her young decided to purchase a looky likey baby of her grandson. A picture was sent to a company who specialise in this field and a few weeks later, there was the fake baby...!
Her husband (like me) didnt really see her point of view and the look of disgust when he first saw the doll was quite a picture, he just walked off muttering!
I bet he was thinking along the same lines as me.. " For fuck sake love, get a grip!!" 
Hope I havent offended anyone with this one but I just think its a bit extreme!
SAM
Song of the moment:
The Raconteurs..."Steady, as she goes"
Had it blasting in Sally at 7 this morning
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Yes yes YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!
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Posted:Jan 18, 2008 1:08 pm
Last Updated:Jan 12, 2011 2:50 pm
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As avid readers will know, this summer I'll be off to the Isle Of Wight Festival....an event that I'm sooooo looking forward to! 
Last years line up was in my opinion better than this years....say what you like but seeing The Rolling Stones would have been brilliant, without doubt legends of the music industry.
Quite possibly my favourite band over the last few years have been Kasabian and yep, they were playing last year also.......why am I always a year too late???
Over the last few weeks, the list of bands appearing have been announced...lots of bands I cant wait to see but none that I would REALLY walk over hot coals to see........
I've registered with the official web site...constantly logging on to the forum and joining in the discussions about the bands appearing, best place to pitch your tent etc as well as being the first to find out the list of bands playing.......
It must be a week or so since I logged in....all the headliners have been announced so no surprises to follow......until tonight!!!
Its just been annnounced that one of my fave bands have just been confirmed as appearing.....and hells fucking bells....I'm absolutely made up!!!!! 
They're a popular choice of at least one reader of this blog ....and hopefully this post will put more people onto them cos trust me folks, they're what I call "proper musicians"....
Formed in the north of England around 2000, Jeff Buckley was a big influence on their style, (they took their name from an album by his father) and their singer James Walsh (pictured) was involved in a wee spat with Noel gallagher from Oasis. Nice one!! They have been played on my stereo, in my car, on my iPod and at the moment on my new Bose docking station......jeez its some sound!
So... Sunday 15th June 2008, Sammy boy will be at the Isle Of Wight Festival donning his NY bucket hat with a big fat herbal cigar  watching these play live.....
STARSAILOR
How many days to go???? *gets calendar out excitedly*
SAM
Song very much of the moment:
Starsailor....."Alcoholic"
A top top song.......
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I dont like mondays....BUT
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Posted:Jan 10, 2008 1:42 pm
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2013 6:02 am
9256 Views
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...I hate thursday mornings even more!!
Ever since I left school and took my first steps into the big bad world, thursday mornings drive hell into me!!!!
I guess I'm very much in the minority as monday mornings would probably top the poll of "Worst Mornings Of The Week" but for some strange reason I find them quite easy as its the start of a fresh week, your batteries should have been recharged over the weekend and the simple fact of life is that you just HAVE to go to work. So mondays, a piece of cake
Tuesdays are very much the same....not really a problem for me to throw my legs out of bed.
Wednesdays.....hmmm...not normally a happy chappy as my tank is starting to run empty.
Thursdays.....holy shit....I'm sooo grumpy when the alarm goes off. The sun could be blazing through my slightly ajar curtains with the birds singing sweetly but when that alarm goes off, its normally greeted with a barrage of expletives!
Fridays...its the last one of the week so its up n at em for me, ready in plenty of time even sometimes managing a few tracks of music in the kitchen before throwing my little rucksack over my shoulder ready for pretty much anything the world can throw at me.
So there we have it, Thursday mornings ought to be banned!
Your worst morning of the week is?????
SAM
Song of the moment:
Fat Boy Slim...."The Rockafella Skank"
Now this is one to wake you AND your neighbours up!
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How times have changed.................
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Posted:Jan 7, 2008 2:54 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2008 10:26 am
9042 Views
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Remember those days before the Health and Safety Commission? When you could pick up a box without prior attending a laborious course in manual handling? When you could spend all day up a ladder painting the side of someones house without fear of a monumental dressing down by someone wearing a high viz vest?
I agree in lots of circumstances, accidents and fatalities are avoided by everyone adhering to the safe practices drawn up by these people but most of it is down to the individual using common sense....right?
I'm sure everyone has been involved in some kind of emergency training in the event of a fire...I sat there trying to look vaguely interested the other day as someone wearing the obligatory high viz jacket explained how I "must assemble at emergency point 4 when the alarm goes off".....
It got me thinking of a story which was told to me around fifteen years ago....but to this day, it still makes me chuckle to myself..... I'm giggling right now just thinking of it.
Whilst working at a fairly local factory, I met a quite elderly guy who I would love to share a beer with but sadly, hes possibly no longer with us.....but trust me he was a real character, a person whose humour was spot on. The type of person who could make you laugh without trying due to his vast array of metaphors and vocabulary.
We got chatting about the dangers of working with certain chemicals when he told me a story of way back in the 60's when he was working in a plastics factory where there were huge tanks of a substance called Benzene.
Without boring you, Benzene is one nasty muther fucker of a chemical...its carcinogenic as well as being HIGHLY flammable and its use today is under the tightest of controls even though its used in the production of rubber, detergents, dyes etc.
He told me the time when a regional fire officer came to give the small workforce he was part of a training seminar in the uses of Benzene....basically a "Do's and Donts" speech.
After an hour of painting the blackest of pictures about Benzene (and rightly so)..he asked the by now bored group "What steps would you take in the event of a fire??"
A man somewhere near the back replied with "Fucking great big ones across that field!"
A truely classic one liner to remember
SAM
Song of the moment:
Radiohead...."Karma police"
Thom Yorke...what a voice!
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Its not healthy but......
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Posted:Jan 6, 2008 2:31 pm
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2008 10:26 am
9390 Views
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..I've currently got an overwhelming appetite for cheese.
I've always liked the more run of the mill kind of cheese, the stuff that you see stacked high at your local supermarket but lately, Mrs Sam has introduced me to the more exotic varieties.
Due to a good contact, her fridge is frequently stocked with all kinds of wild and wonderful combinations of the stuff...garlic, white wine and herb, horseradish and parsley, goatscheese and cranberry....and a variety called Smoked Applewood that is quite simply deeeelicious.
Sample any of these with a quality bottle of wine like a Chablis Premier Cru and enjoy!! Mmmmmm
Sampling after a long hot bath curled up with your beloved is quite fantastic.....and not once have I suffered with nightmares..
Anyone else a cheese lover????
SAM
Song of the moment:
Kaiser Chiefs...."When the heat dies down"
*will be giving it the big one (hopefully) listening to this come June*
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Thank fuck for Jools Holland..........
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Posted:Jan 1, 2008 9:38 am
Last Updated:Jan 3, 2008 12:46 pm
9189 Views
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New years eve......hmmmmmm.
Not a night that I look forward to with any kind of glee but one that of course is full of nostalgia and warmth.
Not last night...
Due to my circumstances changing, there was no monumental piss up with the lads, no queuing at a bar for twenty minutes waiting to be served, no suffering of hypothermia whilst waiting for a taxi that will cost the same as a trip to the moon, no chilli sauce down the front of my shirt...but on reflection, a lot better entertainment than was served up on TV last night.
The were happliy tucked away with the fairies, my bottle of chilled Chablis going down like nectar, that tin of Roses that I'd so been looking forward to was diminuishing by the second and Mrs Sam sat beside me looking quite radiant 
"Oh well my little plumtree, lets take in the New Year with a look at the TV" were my words...my new Bose sound system was turned off (trust me when I say its rather expensive but what a fucking sound!) and we sat back anticipating some good TV viewing....its ALWAYS good on New Years Eve right?
How wrong I was!! 
First up was Kyran Bracken who made his name playing rugby for England but seeing as he won some skating program, we were treated to him prancing around on an ice rink. Agreed, hes better than me at it...LOTS better but hes basically a retired sportsman pursuing other ventures.
Never mind...it'll get better than after him I thought.
Next in line was the revered singer Katie Melua, someone with a voice that is quite wonderful.......but stone the crows, she gave a rendition of Lou Armstrongs "Wonderful world" that can only be described as different
Then appeared Teatro, described on the Sony Entertainment web site as "Theatrelands First Supergroup"......god help us is all I'll say on the matter cos they were.....errr....ahem.....shit with a capital S.
The paying public were then entertained ( I use that term loosley) by four young ladies singing the much loved Sinead O'Connor hit "Nothing compares to you"......I would have called it "Fuck all compares to us" cos they were awful and killed what is a great song!
At this point I'm so bored that the thought of going to bed without saying Happy New Year to Mrs Sam was quite at the forefront of my mind...but no, for her sake I stuck it out.
Some much needed light (quite literally) was on the horizon as the countdown to the firework display came closer.
In fairness, the pyrotechnics were truely amazing.....how much did THAT cost!?!?!
As the bells of Big Ben tolled, a special moment was shared..........
So that was it, we sat there both in agreement that New Years Eve TV was complete shite!
The wine bottle was almost empty but enough for another tipple so I flicked over to whats supposedly the secondary channel of our terrestrial network........
Well stone the crows.....the Jools Holland show was in full swing with everyone on top form...Kylie was giving it large, Kate Nash tickling the keyboards so wonderfully, Kaiser Chiefs banging out a great version of "The angry mob", Paul McCartney belting out a few songs with the finale being Ruby Turner opening her lungs.........and what a pair of lungs!!
I sat there thinking why oh why didnt I switch this on earlier instead of watching that other shite???
So my friends, one note of caution.....if you stay in next year......stay clear of BBC1.
All have a good night?
SAM
Song of the moment:
Franz Ferdinand..."Take me out"
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Coming out....but not from the closet
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Posted:Dec 31, 2007 5:51 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2008 1:47 pm
10072 Views
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Over the past few months, my time on here has become less and less. As lots will know, I was regular frequentor of chat rooms, my blog was updated daily and I was lucky enough to meet some great people...as well as cementing friendships with a few who sadly are from far flung corners of our globe.
The reason for this is quite simple...and I'm sure some of you will have worked it out.
Yes folks...I'm proud to say that I am now attached!
We've known each other for a long time, almost 20 years but our paths have not crossed since we had a drunken fumble when we were both teenagers....until a few months ago when quite bizarrely, we stumbled across each other one morning.
Since our teens, there has been no chance passing, no sighting whilst out shopping even tho she only lives 10 mins away, no fleeting glance driving past.....nothing!
We may as well been living in a different continent..........
When our paths did cross, it was plainly obvious that we still had that fire in our bellies and after establishiing that we were both single decided to meet up for a quiet drink to catch up with those lost years.
It takes a lot for me to lower my barriers, people who know me personally will agree when I say that on times, I can be pretty much well guarded with my feelings, some would say cold and heartless in some situations but after being hurt BADLY a few years ago, I wasnt going to let the first lady who showed me affection walk into my life.
As my feelings grew for her, the inevitable explanation of me being on this site came closer as the weeks passed, I'll admit that telling her was not something that I was looking forward to...but I mustered the courage from the gunnels of my boots to hold my hands up and come clean.
I'm pleased that she knows of my involvement on here cos one day for sure, I would have been caught out...and that would have led to even bigger hurdles to overcome.
I've just had the best xmas since I moved out from my folks nearly twenty years ago...to be with someone 24/7 in some instances can be quite difficult but the last 10 days have been nothing short of amazing and a lot easier than I thought it would be.
If anyone hasnt clicked on the pic yet, that was my xmas present to her!
Never thought I'd say this but from now on, I'm here for purely a good laugh in the chat rooms and to keep my blog going with my little stories...which I hope will still keep some of you amused.
I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a great 2008 and may exciting times be on the horizon for you all.
SAM
Song of the moment:
Westlife...."You raise me up"
*makes note to introduce her to some proper music in 2008*
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Bad boys or good boys??????
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Posted:Dec 29, 2007 1:38 am
Last Updated:Feb 9, 2013 6:03 am
9051 Views
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Now before I go further, I'm as red blooded a male as the next man...never described myself as curious about batting for the other side for even the briefest of timescales.
However, a talking point arose with someone who is very special to me about Bad Boys......you know the type....Vin Diesel, Vinny Jones, Eddie Murphy, Eminem...catch my drift??
Personally speaking, if I was a woman then someone like David Beckham would be more up my street.....yes I know, I'm digging a MASSIVE hole here
What is it with the "bad boy" look??
I've been told its the eyes..that glint that makes a woman go " Corrr....I wouldn't mind a bit of that!! "
Coupled with this, I'm told that if you look at a bad boy, you just KNOW hes gonna be what was described as a "right dirty bastard"
So...what is it? Bad boy or good boy??
Bad Boy SAM (allegedly )
Song of the moment:
Kanye West....."Stronger"
Sounds fookin awesome in Sally!!
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