My increasingly cynical outlook on the possibilities of connection
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Posted:Feb 19, 2011 10:14 pm
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2011 5:10 am
7525 Views
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It will be interesting to see how many negative comments I get from this one...but I really don't care so here goes.
When I first came to Couples Dating, I was so naive I was practically shiny, new out of the box, damn near a virgin. I never knew any of this world existed and I was fascinated by all of it. And I tried most of it. In the process, I learned a great deal about myself and that has been very positive for me. I learned about my boundaries, clarified my moral standards, discovered that to some, I am attractive and sexy, solidified my extremely straight sexual orientation, discovered that I am a show off and like posting pics and the occasional video of myself. I have also learned that I am a one man kind of woman, that I value the connection that is found in a committed relationship and that this is really what I want. I have also learned here and on all the vanilla dating sites, that I am in the minority and that so many people will lie to get into your pants it truly is not funny...at all. I stopped meeting people from Couples Dating, except in rare instances, close to 3 years ago and I can count on 1 hand the number of people I have chosen to meet. Two of them have become close friends. The other two? The most recent is the one who prompted this post, and I have been stewing about it (and him) for days now.
And before you say it, yes I know. This is a lousy place to even think that I would ever meet a person with whom I would be interested in pursuing anything meaningful or lasting. This is another thing I have discovered about myself: I am too trusting, I believe what you tell me and I don't seem to have developed the capacity to learn from my past mistakes, at least in this particular arena. I have again, met someone I thought was a stand up guy, one I was beginning to feel connected to, one I thought MIGHT, only maybe, be a person with possibilities. And yes, I made yet another error in judgment.
Sometimes I think that if I could only learn to be withholding, uncommunicative, detached and superficial...essentially lie, about who I am and what I am, I would be better off. But I am a communicative person, I say what I think eventually, and I an pretty much an open book. In short, I wear my heart on my sleeve and my heart is usually prone to liking the rare person I say yes to here...because after a dialog I have thought that I saw things that I admired and respected and also thought that this was reciprocated. Again, I was wrong.
The term use and abuse come to mind at the moment.
And just for the record...I am an intensely sexual person and this is not something you can even allude to on a vanilla dating site. When I have brought up my "appetites" to guys I have dated on Match or another v-site, even after dating for awhile, they blanch and run...and I am not talking anything extreme, just the fact that my libido is rather above average. So, basically, this is why, in addition to my little exhibitionist streak, I have remained a member...just to offset the number of people who are going to tell me what an idiot I am for thinking I might meet the extremely horny love of my life here, so save it. I've heard it before.
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Are you literate...or illiterate?
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Posted:Aug 5, 2009 3:05 am
Last Updated:Aug 17, 2011 5:05 am
7018 Views
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I mean really...I swear I have been as specific as I can be in my profile...is it that people only look at the pics and never read the profile?
so...will anyone weigh in on this one?>
Update: Ya'll still don't read the damn profile...and most still don't know how to use spell check and you still send pics of your parts. Not a blessed thing has changed.
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