“Baby, What a big surprise...”
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Posted:Jun 20, 2019 9:05 pm
Last Updated:Jun 21, 2019 7:05 pm
689 Views
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Wholly crap, you guys!
If I had any idea I would get as many views on my initial blogpost I most definitely would have edited it better, the very least! Hello again, and thank you for joining , and just lemme say that seeing a three digit of views completely blew my mind. Back in the day, a handful of years ago when I was exploring my closeted activities and very visible on a website something like this one, I was pouring everything I felt, feared, fantasized and desired, and I was lucky to get a couple dozen views, so ...again, thanks!
So, how does one follow up on what quite possibly could be the blogpost equivalent of a one--wonder? Obvi I wouldn’t know, but interestingly enough (to , least), my thoughts for this post were in a completely different direction until I received above said surprise, and then began reflecting on my previous experiences with blogs. I wrote and I shared a lot, back then, but I was still too afraid to get to the actual meat and potatoes, and that internal fear always kept the chains around me and the desires unobtainable. Older and wiser now perhaps, and having a little more discretion helps, but the biggest surprise I am discovering about myself is that ninety nine percent of the fears I harbored in the past mean very little to me currently.
Years ago I couldn’t bring myself to tell another soul that I had been molested once, let alone share the fact that I believe it was this particular incident which has imbedded a sexual fantasy within me so deeply that I find myself back on a adult website again, several years later, with the hopes of realization. But, stuff like this, realizing that the truth does set me free, makes it a hell of a lot easier to examine what my meat and potatoes truly are, and may possibly/hopefully lead to understanding and fulfillment without regerts. I guess the real surprise for me is the realization that the very thing I feared the most is actually the key to my next opened door. The truth. My truths. They’re what I have.
Title: Baby, What A Big Surprise by Chicago (1977)
PS: “Regerts” was intentional.
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“Closer, let me whisper in your ear...”
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Posted:Jun 16, 2019 8:43 pm
Last Updated:Jun 20, 2019 7:20 pm
1209 Views
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Hello.
Thanks for spending a moment here in my world, now I kind of wish I had something of actual importance share. I suppose I will start with my life’s timeline; born in So. Cal. in the late sixties, middle in a middle family in suburbia, blah blah blah, molested once as a pre- by a stranger, discovered women’s lingerie as a and spent fifty percent of the next twenty years as a closeted crossdresser, moved Texas for a few years and then ended up back here in California, a bunch more blah blah blah’s and then I met the woman I am planning on spending the rest of my life with. That’s my nutshell, if you will, and the above mentioned life partner and I have gone from being coworkers friends dating living together going into our seventh year together. Hooray for me, right? , well...
So there’s this secret. See, she knows my past. In an incredible story in it’s own right, I “came ” her as a reason why we shouldn’t start dating, but that didn’t stop her and here we are. She claimed to like it and so I dressed a handful of times with her, but aside from occasionally wearing a pair of panties now and then I am generally on the straight road. But, fantasies remain. I can’t tell her that I’ve always been attracted to the erect penis, that fantasies remain and desires burn deep, it’d her (figuratively) and the best relationship I’ve ever known (literally). I don’t want that, but at the time much lower on the moral scale but on the desires scale, a hard cock that wasn’t my own or machine made shakes my sexuality its core in ways I find difficult explain.
Which is how I got here this blogpost. I tend have the gift of gab and could probably rattle off another thousand words elaborating on fantasies and desires but perhaps it’s best left for another day and another post. Bottom is that Dick drove me here and I was hoping I might find a kindly soul give me a lift and possibly take me home. That’s where I currently am on this life’s timeline, and I thank you for listening.
Title: The Beatles, Do You Want To Know A Secret (1963)
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