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| Blogs > cwazywabbit009 > Wabbit Tales |
The challenges ........
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The challenges ........ of meeting a m/f couple when you are a single male are many. Now I’m not saying I am any kind of<b> expert </font></b>on the subject ….. far from it actually, but I have been prompted by a friend to share what I have experienced, so here goes.  First of all, I witness a lot of aggressive behavior by men in chat rooms, and in IMs, trying to Alpha Male their way to the front of the proverbial line, or attempting to give directions to a woman or couple on cam [like they are going to stop what they are doing to read chat lol]. In general, I don’t think the male of the couple appreciates being ignored, or basically shouted at since he knows what he is doing with his partner a whole lot better than anyone watching. While it does provide some comic relief, it doesn’t present them [the directors] in the best light, or as the male half of one couple who were on cam said, “what do you expect from someone who has lived in their mum’s basement for the last 10 years lol”.  I have been fortunate enough to have had a few couples invite me to join them [not giving out specific numbers as contrary to some opinions, you can be a gentlemen in this lifestyle, as least when it is appropriate to be one  ], and in each case, they approached me, not me them. Now, have I missed opportunities for not being more forward? Entirely possible, but in the lifestyle, I think that the women have the determining vote, so if they don’t like you, it doesn’t matter how cool the guy thinks you are. I am always conscious of the male half of a couple when greeting the female half, and no matter how much I may be attracted to her, I respect him and her. Keep in mind that you cannot appear to be seen as a threat to the male half of the couple. Respect the couple, their relationship, and their rules, and be yourself. No use putting on an act as the woman will see right through it, and the man will resent you for trying to finagle your way into their bedroom. Being approached by a couple is flattering, when done respectfully. Not the “want to meet us in our hotel room tonight” from total strangers, but a friendly message from people you have chatted with a bit, or a lot, asking if you would like to have supper/lunch with them to see if there is mutual attraction. It’s like a job interview, just with a much better benefit package lol. [A sense of humour helps btw ] Setting out some ground rules for the first meeting is important for all involved. For me, it’s ensuring that it will be a meet only, to see how things go, with no play occurring. Gives all involved a chance to digest the meet and go from there. Giving the couple time and space to discuss things is important, after all, they are the ones that are inviting you to join them. Saying this, if the couple you have talked with for a while is coming to town with the express purpose of meeting you and they state they would like to continue after supper if things go well, that is your decision. [duh!] Whenever you meet the couple, engage both members in conversation, don’t just focus on one and exclude the other. This seems like common sense but as a lot of you know, common sense is quite uncommon these days. If you can’t carry on a conversation, odds are you won’t be what they are looking for. As I mentioned before, be yourself and relax, either they will like you or they won’t, that part is out of your control. Enjoy your time with them [unless you aren’t enjoying it that is], and at the end of meet, thank them and be honest when you say you would like to meet them again. Don’t say you would like to and then avoid them. Suck it up and say that you didn’t feel a connection and thank them for asking you. Saves a lot of effort down the road on their part if you are honest up front. I have met people that have said they look forward to seeing me again and then I never heard from them. Did it hurt my feelings, not too much, as that is out of my control, but did make me wonder why they said what they said. Maybe they had a bad experience with another single male and were making assumptions, or just didn’t find me a good fit, and either way, I don’t blame them for being who they are and for what they did.  I met another couple and had a great time with them. It even inspired a blog story. That was my one and only contact with them. Was I disappointed, a little, as they were very engaging and fun to be with, but I respect their decision. I still think they are a great couple. Sometimes couples drop off of the map, and you have to respect their decision as you don’t know what is going on in their lives. They don’t owe you an explanation [but it would be nice lol].  The best compliment I was paid was by the female half of a couple when she told me that she picked me because she knew that if anything went wrong I would remain calm and handle it properly. Turns out she was clairvoyant. And in case you were wondering, she told me that after things went wrong and we had smoothed things out, and I thanked her for it as telling when she did as being told that in advance would have put me a bit on edge, waiting for things to go wrong, which probably would have helped them go wrong. Smart woman! Now it did make sleeping in the same hotel room with them [separate beds] a wee bit uncomfortable that night, as we didn’t smooth things out until the next morning [timing of the issue called for a cooling off period], but I made two good friends out of it and I like to think that they feel the same about me, and when it comes down to it, making friends is what it should be about.  Now you might be wondering why I haven’t mentioned anything about sex yet. Well, sex is a big part of the equation, but that won’t happen if the preliminaries are not successful. Getting past them should include what the couple are looking for, and, more important, not looking for. Respecting [there’s that word again!] their wishes is a must, and thinking you can change their mind will get you out the door and on your way home in a flash. Remember that they are adding you to their equation, and that the woman should be the focus at all times, while respecting the man and his position in the mix.  If you are fortunate enough to be invited to play, let the male half of the couple take the lead with his partner, and then join in, focusing on a part of her that is not being played with by her partner [unless they ask otherwise]. Frequent check-ins with him, which can be as simple as looking up to see if he looks upset or annoyed with what you are doing, to asking if everything is ok work. If she doesn’t like what you are doing, you’ll find out fast! Remember, it’s not about you, it’s about her, them, and their experience. This might seem obvious, but it should be stated, let her know you are enjoying yourself, through words and actions, and remind him what a lucky guy he is. If you are doubly lucky enough to be invited to play again, hooray for you! I know I seem to be beating a dead with it, but respect them and don’t maul her, even if you want to. That’s his job lol. Let them/her make the first move when it comes time to play, remember what she likes, and enjoy learning what she likes. You never know, you may come across something he hasn’t found out about her and he’ll thank you for it, maybe not in words, but he will. Now by all means enjoy yourself, but never forget you are #3 on the depth chart in the threesome, and they chose you because they saw something in you that they wanted to add to what they have. And it should go without saying, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. If you are stupid enough to betray their trust, know that they will let people know and you can kiss any reputation you may have had goodbye. Don’t be one of the things they are adding to their sex life.   Drop in and visit my blog sometime, but you'll probably regret it  |
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Great blog here, and you give some great information I hope everyone reads this and follows your example.. Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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According to chat room banter, I've discerned that all the women here are either gay men, or transgender. And while all the men have Johnsons ranging in size from 8 to 10 inches, they also suffer from sexual dysfunction. The pictures, are all borrowed from someplace else. Other than that, your advice is cogent, and well worth heeding. People are strange when you're a stranger."
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Very well stated as usual. It is the same from the female perspective as the addition.
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Great post would should be the handbook for all single men on here!
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I think these basic rules should apply to ALL encounters. Respect, mutual interest, and fun are all paramount to any good meeting, whether it be the first or second or the last.
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It is too bad that the one's that require this advice the most, are the least likely to read it  However there is always hope
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i'm not big on being shared for many of the reasons you state. the tension alone makes for an uneven experience. you make great points and should probably be a sex therapist......winks You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Excellent good communications are always the secret to success on here.. I was chatting with a guy and he has meet 4 couples so far and he has had a great time. I am sure they pick you because of your sexy ass! Just saving as well as few more nice things hugsssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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