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Been a while....
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Been a while.... It has been a while since I shared my life with friends and folks here.... I thought I'd share. This past summer I made a bit of a change in my life work wise. I started<b> teaching. </font></b>About the same time..... I had some pretty serious medical issues.. MY IUD decided to attack me.... my cholesterol medication was hurting... I was just in a world of pain. It is now January and I am still not 100 percent. I am glad I made a change when I did.... not sure I could have done hair and made enough money to survive doing so. I fear I would have faltered and who knows what would have happened. There was a time that I could not stand for even a little bit. I am still single.... I continue to wonder what is wrong with me.... what is that missing part. I don't know that there really is anything missing with me..... maybe I am being set aside for something really special. Or maybe I just have more to offer the world as I am ..... sharing and loving fully. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I am super single is because I can't accept anyone that doesn't meet my dreams. Honestly ...... I want the comfortable handsome dude who is way into me sitting wit me at the Gorge watching DMB.... kissing the back of my neck and knowing I am so in love with him. I want him to sing the stone loudly with me.... and be fully with me every step of the way. I know that is not what is in my future..... but that is what I want. Until then... I should be happy watching Carter and the boys on my own and with friends. Ok in all seriousness .... having a man watch DMB with me is not ALLL I want.... I want some other things too.....  I exhale and have to ask myself what is wrong with me.... and of course I go back to the other voices in my life over time and hear all the negative words.... negative thoughts and see the looks. Too Fat, Too Short, NOT this and not That... Never ever enough. Smart enough, tall enough, thin enough...... If you'd like you can take this knife you hold and whittle me away to what is pleasing enough for you..... or I can stand strong and be enough for myself. I have no answers..... Life isn't always a party. |
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It's so good to see an update from you on here. You've never been less than amazing to me, only never close enough to me. Hopefully you find what you're looking for.
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Statins are bad for joint pain. I've had the same problem with them, and I like grapefruit, ugh. skip now and then, more for the pain than the grapefruit. Same problems about being super single, too bad I'm too far away. you're super cute, not really too fat or too short, not too this or that....
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