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| Blogs > OneStrangeBeast > The Beast Burrow |
It's Official!!! :) Edition
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It's Official!!! :) Edition It's official! Dirty Girl has reviewed my resume seeking the position of illustrator for her and ODB's zombie story and has chosen me over other, better qualified applicants. Ignoring the fact that she has poor business sense and that I will ultimately doom her company to failure, she is bringing me aboard. I thank her from the bottom of my zombie chewed heart! It seems of all my semi-tarded schemes to raise the stature of the burrow, my doodles may be the ingrown toenailed foot in the door I've been needing. I'm already getting requests for personalized doodles. Don't worry folks. Write an interesting blog, or post an inspiring photo, and I'll get to you whether you want it or not. Of course you want it... Look a the way you're blogged. I'm truly inspired now though. I'm going to do something I haven't done in years. I'm going to run off to the art store and purchase some real doodle pens and a quality sketch pad. I did something else today that I haven't done in many months. I actually woke up early enough to go to the base gym prior to arriving at work. (Work... Snicker) OBJM was still in there after all this time. That's Old Beef Jerky Muscles for those who don't know. He's an old geezer who is always in there, exhibiting some of the worst lifting form known to man. I once tried to give him some advice but he didn't take too kindly to it. He is much happier wrapping his joints in industrial bandages in order to keep his joints from snapping like twigs. He lifts entirely too much weight for his strength level, throwing his entire body into it in order to accomplish it. Good stuff. As luck would have it, the time away made me forget 1 simple thing. I forgot to pack my shower shoes. For those who don't know; those are cheap, plastic sandals the military teaches us to wear from boot camp on to cut down on the spread of athlete's foot. After I showered and began getting dressed, I overheard (because he was being as loud and obnoxious about it as possible), a chief telling his buddy "I can't believe that guy was in the shower without shower shoes!" While athlete's foot can be annoying, it's nothing to get so bent out of shape over. It's also not something you need to loudly talk shit about (making sure the shit receiver can hear you). I very badly wanted to retort "And I can't believe your flabby, out-of-shape ass hasn't been booted from the Navy!" Yet another reason I'm glad I'm almost done with this institution. I've got to go for now. There's a problem clearing my flight from Kuwait back to home. If I end up having to pay $1800.00, out-of-pocket, for a flight back from a deployment I shouldn't have had to go on in the first place.... Well that will just be the fuckered sprinkles atop the oooey goooey fuckered flavored ice cream that has been my final year of service. BEAST OUT Bonus Material at a later hour. Awwwww Fuck IT! Improve your blogging vocabulary with OneStrangeBeast's Obscure Word of the Day Program. Today's Word: Decollate - Decollate is a word meaning to cut someone's, or somezombie's head off. Ladies may now update their profiles with the phrase "If any zombies are looking for a hook-up, expect me to decollate you by the time you attempt first base!"  |
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Wow, what a career move! I look forward to seeing your illustrations  I am a little scared though as I read the first installment and my mental illustrations were scary enough! LOL***
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You're welcome tits....I mean tatas
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I've already picked out the songs for both the opening and closing credits once the movie deal goes through. I think DG/ODB will appreciate my choices, both by CKY. For the opening scene. "96 Quite Bitter Beings" With my perceptions in a mix Down twenty miles through the sticks To the cloudy town of Hellview: Population 96 Excessive vacancy, well maybe In the shadow of an eye All the strangers pass through Where the rules just don't apply At the fork turn left a store But on the right stay free from sight 'Cause 96 quite bitter beings Like to stack the bodies high The only way to ever leave is Overflooded by the storm And entanglement in Hellview Brings you fear in fifty forms They've deleted all the tourists At the bottom of the lake And not one supports the cause To leave the blood stay in the veins Here, three miles back is where we are All we ever wanted was an answer Civilized are close but way too far All we ever wanted was an answer Footprints giving clue to where we are All we ever wanted was an answer Civilized are close but way too far All we ever wanted... _____________________________________________________________ And for the closing credits. "Escape From Hellview" the fire dies on its own leaving us to ourselves but not exactly alone I think that something is out there waiting anticipation has grown the air as black as can be can't even see that my hand is in front of me I'm overhearing a whisper "they won't escape until the blood is set free" so turn back the silence is deafening turn back don't let them see you again they make the rounds at the midnight hour and on the clock it's just a minute away so we're hours awake and our only mistake is we bleed and the hunger for the living helps them hunt it with the greatest of ease now I'm finding my friends hanging from trees, made a bed of a barbed wire fence I'm on the loose with my neck in the noose but hey... I enjoy the intense turn back the silence is deafening turn back don't let them see you again they make the rounds at the midnight hour and on the clock it's just a minute away so we're hours awake and our only mistake is we bleed and the hunger for the living helps them hunt it with the greatest of ease no experience could ever match the sight of when a person is through if it's the last thing I will do I'll be the one that will escape from hellview...and I will. turn back the silence is deafening turn back don't let them see you again they make the rounds at the midnight hour and on the clock it's just a minute away [twice] so we're hours awake and our only mistake is we bleed and the hunger for the living helps them hunt it with the greatest of ease no experience could ever match the sight of when a person is through if it's the last thing I will do I'll be the one that will escape from hellview...and I will.
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3/28/2012 6:38 pm |
See Daddy...you got a job!!! No eating Ramen noodles for you.  baby
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See Daddy...you got a job!!! No eating Ramen noodles for you.
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Congrats on being named Official Illustrator!!! 
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3/28/2012 11:52 pm |
Daddy, I am sure you can survive on a diet of SPAM. baby
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3/28/2012 11:56 pm |
I am noticing you are commenting about others being critical of the small things, but yet here you are being critical of them. I am sure there are some that think critical of your actions or words. Just try to let go and mello as you transition out of the service, and be thankful of your service. If you have to pay for flight back, it sucks, but it is a small price to pay for getting yourself home. Now take care of baby, daddy. baby
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No WAY you should be paying for your transportation home. It just doesn't work that way. The got you over there, and they are responsible for getting you back home. Don't let it go...fight them all the way up to the JAG...they just sometimes try that shit to see if you'll back down. I know a little bout travel orders...maybe I can help? I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn
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No WAY you should be paying for your transportation home. It just doesn't work that way. The got you over there, and they are responsible for getting you back home. Don't let it go...fight them all the way up to the JAG...they just sometimes try that shit to see if you'll back down. I know a little bout travel orders...maybe I can help?
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Actually, I somehow picked up a toenail fungus (which I understand is related to athlete's foot) and this morning 1/3 of my big toenail fell off. (sorry for the grossness but I have been dying to tell somebody this all day, and you, sir, gave me the opening)   
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Actually, I somehow picked up a toenail fungus (which I understand is related to athlete's foot) and this morning 1/3 of my big toenail fell off. (sorry for the grossness but I have been dying to tell somebody this all day, and you, sir, gave me the opening)
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Yeah, DG... that tit of yours has a mind of it's own and its own agenda. I wouldn't be surprised if it's detaching itself in the night and hitting the clubs without you. I'll be ready for whatever you need when the time comes. If I have more than 5 minutes sitting on my couch, I can actually give you some quality work.
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