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Ina's a Dirty Girl
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Ina's a Dirty Girl So today I got a few boxes in the mail, from that huge monolithic place to order everything (it starts with an A), and from that huge monolithic place to order everything new and old (it ends with a Bay). The boxes contained a bunch of sex-related stuff, naturally, and I'm telling you this because I know you are curious. Who wouldn't be? I think Chekov had a phrase for it; dramatically speaking, you just can't introduce a bunch of boxes without eventually revealing their contents. I think he called it something like "the egg McMuffin..." But I digress. In order from least provocative to kinkiest, my goodies included a "Mini Skirt Garter Belt," which will be perfect to keep up my various stockings, which are the the only correct accompaniment for my impossibly tall, shiny black fuck-me pumps. Next comes the adult toy cleaner, which has the implication that I will be using adult toys, of course, but also that I am a responsible user of such implements. Third on the sexiness scale is the book The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. I believe I am actually bi, but because I have never gotten even close to touching so much as a woman's elbow in a romantic manner, I figure it will give me some good tips. Fourth and fifth, well, they are vying for the top spot here. One was really quite a luxurious item, and my lavishness with myself indicates how highly I regard the art and science of masturbation. The other was cheap, but definitely kinky... I don't know which is dirtier. So in order of cheapest to most expensive, number four is a set of adjustable nipple clamps connected with a chain. If you've read my profile, you know how infatuated I am with my tits, but I continually mistreat them, enjoying every second of it, of course. I've never had clamps before, but I am excited by the prospects. Wish I had someone around to play with 'em... Finally, the most expensive item, is a gorgeous and technically advanced g-spot vibrator that goes by the name of Ina. It's a fabulously expensive bit of sex tech, usually, but there was an awesome deal on it on "A." I could barely contain my excitement whilst unboxing Ina -- but stopped short because I noticed the box had been opened. Well, that was probably okay, I thought; it's common for the people proffering sex toys to open the packaging to check that the item works. I continue stripping Ina of her confines... got to the middle of the package, took it out joyfully... then noticed something. Please, readers, anyone, offer me some advice if you can: the toy's handle had odd black grease marks on it, as if it had had narrow tape that had been ripped off and the adhesive remained and picked up some sort of schmutz. The silicone part of it looks a bit linty, too... and there's a smudge of some sort. Clearly this item isn't brand spanking new. Has it actually been 'used' and then returned? Has it been reconditioned? Of course, I have my cleaner to completely eliminate any bacteria, and the silicone isn't porous anyway so does not harbor any kind of teensy little evil life forms waiting to jump off and make me sick. What should I do with this thing? I went ahead and charged it to see if it actually works, as it does come with a warranty. I'll report back later. What would you do? |
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Return it. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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When in doubt, throw it out... Although in this case you should return it. Just some Random Thoughts from some Random Guy. This post created with 100% recycled electrons.
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Good advice! Thank you for your thoughts!
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I agree - I highly suggest returning it. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ― Oscar Wilde
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Clever title for this entry. I'd have to agree with those above. Sorta disappointing for the highlight of the orders, hope an unopened replacement arrives soon. On the subject of new toys for your "mistreated" tits - have you thought about getting them nipple shields? Not all require piercing, and the girls might enjoy a little jewelry!
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Clever title for this entry. I'd have to agree with those above. Sorta disappointing for the highlight of the orders, hope an unopened replacement arrives soon. On the subject of new toys for your "mistreated" tits - have you thought about getting them nipple shields? Not all require piercing, and the girls might enjoy a little jewelry!
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