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Blogs > Insindiary > Insindiary's Diary

No connection  

Insindiary 52M
263 posts
3/24/2010 4:23 am
No connection

Hayley's parents adopted her from Korea when she was an infant. She still isn't sure why they did it, because they already had two and they didn't have a lot of money. One day, when she was six years old, her dad came up to her and said, "Well, you're finally paid off." She didn't know what it meant at the time, but, looking back, she thinks that is really funny.

Hayley is going to be a<b> platonic </font></b>friend. I realized that after my Lunch date with her yesterday. I'm not going to let her know about my lifestyle. That would only invite her suspicion of my friendship with her. Worst case - it would invite her disgust.

She's not someone I really connect with anyway. She's tough, and smart, and funny, but still guarded. I learned a lot about her at lunch but I don't feel like I saw anything she didn't want me to see. I think sometimes you have to see the vulnerability in another human being to be able to truly connect with them. Of course, I was smart and funny and open with her too, but I didn't leave myself vulnerable either. For me it becomes a question of "how much do I really need to connect with someone?" At this point in my life, the need is not very strong.

I like Hayley, and I respect her. And, I'll see her again. In fact, we're going out for sushi in the evening sometime next week. I will invite Tricia. Hayley wants to talk to another girl who plays WOW. For Tricia, she would be more interested in the sushi than in meeting Hayley, but I'm sure she would love to go anyway.

playful64more 60F
Ask me for a photo
1425 posts
3/24/2010 12:04 pm

 Sounds as if you were both a little guarded. But you haven't known her long so what did you expect? Did you think she would just open up, be completely vulnerable to you? Even in our conversations to each other I didn't do that. It takes time to build the trust, I think. And if she had been that open, how would you view her then?

I am just wondering. Your thought processes amaze me.

P.S. I heard Denver is getting a lot of snow...hope you are having a good, safe time.
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!! (MY LIFE'S PHILOSOPHY)


Insindiary 52M
153 posts
3/28/2010 7:19 pm
    Quoting playful64more:
    Sounds as if you were both a little guarded. But you haven't known her long so what did you expect? Did you think she would just open up, be completely vulnerable to you? Even in our conversations to each other I didn't do that. It takes time to build the trust, I think. And if she had been that open, how would you view her then?

    I am just wondering. Your thought processes amaze me.

    P.S. I heard Denver is getting a lot of snow...hope you are having a good, safe time.
I think what I mean is that sometimes you have a connection with someone instantly, or even after knowing them only a short time. I was looking for that, but I didn't find it.


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