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Blogs > whitewhife4black > Vanilla Lady Loves Chocolate

Becoming a regular  

whitewhife4black 72F
314 posts
10/25/2008 5:00 am

Last Read:
1/31/2009 7:09 am
Becoming a regular
Historcially, Carol has been more interested in the old phlosophy of Find'em, fuck'em, and forget'em.

But, this has changed SIGNIFICANTLY in the last few years.

These days, she is far more interested in guys who are single (the reliability factor) and are nearby (ease of meeting and also reliability).

She is MUCH more interested in developing on-going relationships where her guys are comfortable with her situations, are content to be 'friends' as well as 'lovers', and who are comfortable just setting around chilling with the both of us.

She has changed her point of view about 'strange being more exciting' in favor of 'familiarity brings more comfort and pleasure'.

She currently has one somewhat long term relationship with a man whom she has been with about 15 times (over about 3 years) or more and another who has been with her at least a dozen times.

As far as 'how regular'... no one has ever achieved MONTHLY on average let alone WEEKLY.

Interestingly enough, a recent contactee happens to fit all the required specifications for a regular (close by... in fact 4 blocks away. Single, able to entertain at home, etc). She hasn't even met him yet so don't have any idea whether it will be a one time thing or what.

Sooner or later... especially since we get older every single day... I suspect that she will move more into having just a small circle of friends and it isn't totally impossible that she may someday limit her activities to a single guy and get with him at least weekly.

Frankly, I find the idea of a real 'boyfriend' (or even second husband) to be somewhat facinating as to how it might play out. Typically, Carol gets so many contacts that there isn't room in the schedule for even an average of monthly. The one thing this leads to is the fact that she doesn't feel urges of her own to be with a particular guy. If someone DID become VERY regular, it would be interesting to see if she becomes less 'passive' about who she is with and starts doing something that at the most now is... making the comment that she hasn't been with such and such for a long time and she feels obligated to get him back into the mix. Frankly, I'd love to see her excited enough about a given individual where she openly pursues additional encounters with him.

I;m sure some people who read this blog think that this is insane and that this will lead to me losing her. Well, we;ve been in this lifestyle since the mid-70s off an on, with playing years accounting for about half that time period. We took breaks from the lifestyle to have and raise together and after all these years... our relationship is more BEST FRIENDS than anything and regarless of how much fun she has with someone... this is something we share even when I'm not there to see it happen.

Also, at our age and with our lifestyle experiences... and the openess in which we allow this party stuff to go on... there simply isn't a NEED for her to go elsewhere. What would she gain? Nothing! If she liked a man THAT MUCH... hell, he could just move in and we'd become an extended family. And, a point of fact... if the man wasn't totally comfortable with that kind of releationship... he'd never get to that point anyway.

Now, when Carol has made plans... she typically is pretty nonchalant about it and only really even starts looking forward to it when she starts getting showered and dressed and putting on her makeup. It NEVER happens that she is setting around watching TV and being 'thoughtful' and I ask...'What you thinking about' and her answer being 'Oh, was just wondering what BOB was doing... wondering if he like to get together'.

Frankly, I'd love it if she did because a MAJOR portion of my enjoyment about this is to see her 'motivated' and having a good time. Otherwise, there is always this fear in the back of my head that she does this more to please me than herself. And, up until the moment she is actually with a man who is likely going to have sex with her... it is more about her doing this for me than for herself. But, once she gets turned on a titulated... it is definitely about her pleasure.

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