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Swinging Is More Than A Numbers Game
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Swinging Is More Than A Numbers Game I’ve always had problems with quantity figures provided by the famous. Wilt Chamberlain’s notorious claim to have bedded more than 20,000 different women means he not only had to charm, but also perform, with more than 1.2 women every day of his life, from the time he was 15 until he died at 63. That’s a lot of partners, considering that in between all that seduction activity (or at least pulling back the bed sheets) Chamberlain had to work in layup and fast break practices. It averages to more than different partner a day, with no time off for federal holidays, religious observances, or just sheer exhaustion. And it stands to reason he enjoyed some of them enough to want a second engagement… ESPN, via the Associated Press, ran a piece on how Chamberlain’s claim affected his image under the headline “Sexual claim transformed perception of Wilt” – although if there is any truth at all to that number, “Wilt” is the last name he should have been given. Warren Beatty at least had the decency to claim that the nearly 13,000 figure attributed to him was a concoction from the mind of an unauthorized biographer, according to The Independent’s “There's no way I have slept with 12,775 women, claims Beatty.” Perhaps not, but given the list of actresses he’s been linked with, it’s clear he’d like to thank the Academy… personally. These figures make swing club operator Marie Calvert’s claim of 3,000 men in 35 years (85 per annum, for the math averse) quite tame in comparison – and quite plausible. Even better, Calvert’s healthy embrace of her activities shines through in “Experience: I’ve slept with 3,000 men,” a joyful first-person tale which recently ran in The Guardian. Calvert offers an example of exactly the sort of person who should swing (it’s really not for everyone). As she writes, “[sex is] the most enjoyable, exhilarating, satisfying way to spend your time. Some women like yoga, some like badminton. I like carnality.” She’s pretty clear about the distinction between sex and love: She loves her husband of 44 years. But he was her one and only until she was 28, and in her eyes “It’s not natural to stick with one sexual partner for 60 years. Life is about<b> experimenting </font></b>and experiencing, and that’s what we do.” In 1997, the two opened a swingers’ club in Sheffield, England. Paradoxically, doing so limited her personal activities in some ways, but opened ‘em up in others. As she writes, “We never have sex during opening hours – it’s our business and we’re professional about it. But, of course, when the place shuts, we’ve got an entire club full of facilities – and an ever-growing circle of open-minded couples – to play with. It’s not all been perfect, of course. Not every lover is attentive. I remember in my 40s going with an 18-year-old, just to see what it would be like. Quick was the answer.” The comments on the article – more than 1,800 of ‘em, since we’re focusing on quantities today –are about what one might expect. A larger-than-usual number fall into the “This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards” category. But the English being the English, there are also a few waggish remarks, mostly of the provincial variety. As “CapnMorgan” typed: "...so we we went to this swingers' club. 30 quid at the door...!" "This is in Sheffield, mind..." "...and condoms and lube were extra...!" "...and listen to this..." "There were a queue a mile long for the swing room!" "The dirty, evil, robbing bastards! To which “BigBarOfDairyMilk” responded “I can't stop laughing at this. I can't imagine thrifty Yorkshire types actually paying real money to have sex.” Rule, Britannia. And rule, Marie Calvert, too, for letting her exuberant experiences serve as both target and inspiration. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic |
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Thank you! I'm reminded of a joke about two women who were comparing notes on their latest lovers. One said to the other "Last night I was with someone who had amazing stamina -- he managed 576 strokes before he came!" To which the other woman replied "You weren't fucking, dear -- you were counting." Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Thank you HG. I am very interested in the topic, although I may not be the type for it myself, a jealousy streak a mile wide may exclude me from being a good candidate. My husband, however, seems to have a keen interest in the lifestyle lately. I suspect this is why I have been pushed toward this website in the first place. He didn't figure that I'd object to swinging but be highly interested in activities with much younger men, that do not include him at all. I am a one man kind of girl, at least one man at a time. Although I have never done anything to change my status as a faithful wife, yet. James Hunt was another sexually prolific man. He claims to have bedded 5000 women in his short life, ended at age 45 due to a heart attack. He was a magnificent looking man, as is the man who portrayed him in the film Rush. I find the claim believable and I am sure his activities were not always a one on one thing. Your comments echo conversations I've had throughout the years, both about what constitutes swinging. Some believe it is done only by couples, with couples -- which leaves a lot of people on this site who self-identify as swingers out. The "couples only" attitude makes the designation of a "unicorn" -- defined variously as a single woman in the lifestyle and a single bisexual woman in the lifestyle -- a non-issue, which is why, at least in my mind, it is a fallacy. Furthermore, there is a difference between hard and soft swap -- the level of activity which couples participate in with other couples can vary from having sex with their partners in the same room as another couple, to sharing partners on a limited sexual basis, to full-out swap... and beyond. In short, swinging can be pretty much anything you want to define it as -- including (although not necessarily in my mind, but I only get one vote) voyeurism. This site is a great place to be exposed to a number of variations, and to figure out what does and doesn't work for you, including that ultimate kink, monogamy. Didn't know about James Hunt. Thank you! Heart attack? Really? After all that lovely aerobic activity? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I never took the Wilt stats seriously. He probably considered getting a little tug and rub as having sex to have THAT many partners! But Ms. Calver? Wow.... that's almost believable and wow... that's a lot of sex. 3,000 men, 85 a year (thanks for the math assist)... that's a little over 7 different men a month for 35 YEARS? Even given the occasional MFM or MMFMM..... just... Dayum girl. Sorry. I just can't get past that statistic. Makes me wonder what percentage were fully satisfying. 
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I never took the Wilt stats seriously. He probably considered getting a little tug and rub as having sex to have THAT many partners! But Ms. Calver? Wow.... that's almost believable and wow... that's a lot of sex. 3,000 men, 85 a year (thanks for the math assist)... that's a little over 7 different men a month for 35 YEARS? Even given the occasional MFM or MMFMM..... just... Dayum girl. Sorry. I just can't get past that statistic. Makes me wonder what percentage were fully satisfying. One MFM threesome a week puts her at 104 partners during a year, with time left over to restock the liquor closet and change the pillowcases. Numbers add up quickly, when one considers a job's daily duties (not that sex was part of Calvert's "duties"!) I've probably published close to 2 million words as part of my professional career... but over a 20-year career, that's surprisingly little, believe it or not! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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HG some interesting reading material. Some awesome stats too.. Wow.. See you read and learn each day your on here.. Do people really count how many partners they have been with.. I am looking forward in the Virtual Symposium coming up. Warning Signs.. hugsssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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HG some interesting reading material. Some awesome stats too.. Wow.. See you read and learn each day your on here.. Do people really count how many partners they have been with.. I am looking forward in the Virtual Symposium coming up. Warning Signs.. hugsssssssssssss V Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I love a story like this and I love a woman like Marie Calvert. People WILL count, and they will keep score..it's just too interesting to compare notes not to do it. Some people consider counting at all to be tacky and tasteless, so naturally I've done it. I must be something of a thrifty Yorkshire type...30 quid at the door! The best things in life are free. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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I love a story like this and I love a woman like Marie Calvert. People WILL count, and they will keep score..it's just too interesting to compare notes not to do it. Some people consider counting at all to be tacky and tasteless, so naturally I've done it. I must be something of a thrifty Yorkshire type...30 quid at the door! The best things in life are free. Marie Calvert radiates, based on her account (and I do hope people search it out) a really wonderful demeanor... I imagine attracting 3,000 men was probably pretty easy for her! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Then that is exactly what you should be doing! The danger is for people who fall into that because they haven't examined what works for them... and this can be true of the swinging community as well, in which someone gets so caught up in variety that he/she loses perspective on serious intimacy... For some, though, both is possible... a mass-produced hamburger can be perfectly satisfying, as can a well-prepared (but NOT well done) filet mignon... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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I've met men that were counting their conquests. Even witnessed one crossing MFM from his bucket list. There's a little of Wilt Chamberlain in many young men. Unfortunately, those men concentrate more on numbers than on quality of their own performance. It feels like they have a need to finish quickly and go looking for their next prize. When they come back later, asking for another rendezvous, it's laughable to me. Swinging isn't a numbers game. To me, it's about sensations of senses, about new experiences, about meeting new like minded people. Marie Calvert! WOW, just wow... Visit my blog It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World of NaughtyInSO, leave a comment, become a watcher. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LIVE AND LET LIVE Be happy! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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I've met men that were counting their conquests. Even witnessed one crossing MFM from his bucket list. There's a little of Wilt Chamberlain in many young men. Unfortunately, those men concentrate more on numbers than on quality of their own performance. It feels like they have a need to finish quickly and go looking for their next prize. When they come back later, asking for another rendezvous, it's laughable to me. Swinging isn't a numbers game. To me, it's about sensations of senses, about new experiences, about meeting new like minded people. Marie Calvert! WOW, just wow... Sorry, Romeo, shoulda paid more attention the first time... Your line "It's about sensations of senses, about new experiences, about meeting new like-minded people" belongs on a coffee mug. And I mean that as the highest form of compliment. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Hah! That Yorkshire comment reminded me of Monty Python's "Four Yorkshiremen" sketch, which like most Monty Python bits is worth looking up... Marie Calvert radiates, based on her account (and I do hope people search it out) a really wonderful demeanor... I imagine attracting 3,000 men was probably pretty easy for her! A Scottish military officer strolls into an apothecary shop. From the pouch hanging from his kilt he extracts a used condom and places it upon the counter. The apothecary says, "Hoot man, Wat be this yur'er thrustin' befor me". "T'is a used condom, sir, and I've come t' ask ye; hey much to replace it and hey much to repair it?" "Aye," replies the apothecary, as he examines the condom. "T'would be six pence to replace it and thra' pence, heypenny to repair it." "Thank ye" says the Scottish military officer as he picks up the used condom and puts it back into his pouch as he marches out of the shop. The next morning the military officer returns to the apothecary shop. He reached onto his pouch, pulls out the used condom and tosses it onto the counter. "The regiment has voted to repair it," he says. He did a fair job with the accent, too. Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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And that sketch has always reminded me of this joke, first told to me by my brother in law, a nice jewish boy from Scarsdale: A Scottish military officer strolls into an apothecary shop. From the pouch hanging from his kilt he extracts a used condom and places it upon the counter. The apothecary says, "Hoot man, Wat be this yur'er thrustin' befor me". "T'is a used condom, sir, and I've come t' ask ye; hey much to replace it and hey much to repair it?" "Aye," replies the apothecary, as he examines the condom. "T'would be six pence to replace it and thra' pence, heypenny to repair it." "Thank ye" says the Scottish military officer as he picks up the used condom and puts it back into his pouch as he marches out of the shop. The next morning the military officer returns to the apothecary shop. He reached onto his pouch, pulls out the used condom and tosses it onto the counter. "The regiment has voted to repair it," he says. He did a fair job with the accent, too. Are Scottish women known for tartan it up? Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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This echos the Clintonian question... is a blowjob sex? And... during games? Really? I know the late-'80s Mets were a go-go team, but I can't see how that would help with focus... Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Well said, especially about meeting lovers who are mutual matches. And you very nicely threaded the needle regarding not keeping specific count, and blending your hobby with mementos.... Speaking of which, for the photography-minded among my readers, check out the [blog rascalQUALITY] blog. Not only does he provide examples of his work, but he also includes a few technical details on each shot, which should provide interesting to anyone with an Instamatic. While you're there, chide him for not participating in this month's symposium. Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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That's a lot of coffee! Be sure to drink a fair amount of water... your pancreas will thank you! Ah, your comment about having more satisfying lovers between 17 and 67 rings true... Personally, I think it takes time to determine what pleases oneself... and not getting into bad habits may take multiple lovers... although I will freely admit that this does not hold true, and isn't desirable, for everyone. As for the high number folks... not sure how they managed it, but if they also managed to have satisfying emotional relationships, whether with special sex partners or friends, power to them! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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