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| Blogs > racyredlace > The Lingerie Drawer |
Just like riding a bike
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Just like riding a bike After the recent few crazy weeks, a last minute decision was made to spend the weekend camping. Just me and mr. Wonderful, a quiet weekend by the lake. (A few words about mr. Wonderful... He had been very, very ill for a couple years without us realizing he was sick. We all just assumed he'd turned into an asshole, he was in fact suffering from a horrible infection, in his bones. He recently had surgery to remove the infection, I can't say he's not an asshole, but he's far more tolerable than he used to be. Back to the story....) We headed to our favorite campground, only to find out the good section is closed because of baby eagles hatching. I personally think this is stupid, the people were in the campground before the Eagles nested there, if the Eagles aren't cool with coexisting, they wouldn't have built the nest around people, right? Anyways... We back track to what I call the "ghetto campground", it's passable as a campground, but it's very crowded, no matter which direction you look all you see is other campers. I prefer being nestled into the woods, but I'm a good sport, I was all "this will be ok.... But look at all these tiny little ... gawd they better like naps." Yes I'm a camping snob, I served my time in a tent and now that we've worked are way to a rolling mansion, I want peace and damn quiet when I'm rusticating. It was all good, the went to bed at a decent hour, the obnoxious slobs on one side of passed out early and only peed in their site once (that I know of), we had a view of the lake, and really nice neighbors on the other side. Oh I got way off track here, I recently inherited a bicycle, from my late sister in law. My last bike was circa 1968, I think it may been the first bike with gears, it had 3. It was the ultimate granny bike, the only thing missing was a<b> basket. </font></b>It was cool, but it was impossible to keep up with more modern bicycles, so it hung in the carport for years. This new to me bike is pretty techno advanced. My did a preventative maintenance check up to ensure his old mom's safety. He made sure it was all oiled, pumped up, adjusted and trail worthy in general. After he finished explaining all the features and benefits to me I said "ok, I know what the numbers 1 through 8 are on this side, but what's with the 1,2,3 on this side?" He said "you just leave that side alone for now, I'll explain that when I think you're ready for more expert operation." He's kind of a jerk, I love him, but he's 14, he's smarter than me, so I just let him go, he'll learn. So we haul the new bike to the ghetto campground, I should mention that the preferred campground is flat, the ghetto campground has hills. Saturday morning, mr. Wonderful asks if I'm ready to try out the bike, I'm not. At all. But being a good sport I hop on, well it was more of a limping shuffle and a few experiments to see which pedal I needed up to shove off and some squealing and shrieking but I got it rolling. I serpentined, played with the brakes, growing a little more confident each pedal. Soon I was riding that bad girl like I stole her. I had so many gears I could make it up the big hill even. Wind whipping through my hair. Once I was fully confident that I wasn't going to end up in the lake or dead, I started fiddling with stuff. I noticed this weird little dome with a little buttonish lever kinda thing, I hit the buttonish lever and heard a "ding." Oh my stars and garters along with shock absorbers everywhere, more gears than I'm allowed to use, and a water bottle holder, my new bike has a bell! Now that I know I'm invincible cuz I can ride like a maniac and just ring my bell and be all "ding ding ding, make way motherfuckers, fat bottom girl coming through, 'scuse me, pardon me, sorry 'bout your dog, ding ding ding, catch me if you can pussies, ding ding ding" I really pushed my limits, I zoomed. I turned sharply. To mr. Wonderful's terror and awe I took the bike jump in the playground. I'd going sailing by him singing the "doo da doo da doo doo" bit from the wizard of oz when the witch is blowing by on her bike. He'd say "ready to stop?" And I'd call back "one more lap." I felt like a again! It turns out, riding a bike is just like riding a bike. It all comes back to you when you hop on. Much to my surprise and delight, my ass isn't even sore today. |
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Love it
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Hmmmmmm Riding a bike is just like riding a bike...... Who woulda ever guessed... 
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Not many people could combine "motherfuckers", "pardon me", and "pussies" in one sentence and make it as endearing as you did. You didn't really hit a dog did you?
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