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Asteroid Boosts Sexual Activity
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Asteroid Boosts Sexual Activity World wide sexual arousal has increased by fifteen percent after the recent meteor strike in Northern Russia. I have in front of me a report from the Agency's Astronomical Correspondent, Haley Scummet, detailing research which suggests the air burst of the meteor has released a powerful alien pheromone into the atmosphere. There are natural meteors of course, but Scummet reports that this one shows signs of having been manipulated by NASA. The results have been a massive boost for the Campaign for Licentious Intimate Touching, which as you know has for several years now been under attack by world celibatist groups. At last we are getting some help. Sex pheromones have permeated the atmosphere to an extent not seen since Kelly Brook stopped wearing Lynx body spray. You may have noticed tall Russian women with excessive make up flaunting their gorgeous soviet bodies in skin tight figure hugging lycra, and masquerading as athletes or gymnasts on TV. Many are even offering themselves as consorts to western business men as a direct result of the hormone. We must act fast to assist with the repair of damage done to western society in recent years by anti-sex celibatists. I urge all of you to arrange encounters, sex parties, lecherous behaviour or at least prolonged masturbation over the weekend. If you are in need of inspiration, find an eastern facing hillside at sunrise and breathe deeply as the first golden rays appear on the paling blue horizon. The go and look at pictures of Kelly Brook or Mark Wright or both according to your preference. I myself was at at Stonehenge at 5.00 am yesterday helping members of the Nymphomaniac Lesbian Circle celebrate the Spring Equinox. In keeping with their traditional astronomical ceremonies they lie in an unbroken daisy chain across the top of the megalithic arches, attempting to reach simultaneous orgasm at sunrise as a homage to the psychic rhythms of the Universe. Afterwards I always welcome them back at Jently Hall for a full English breakfast and a quick bunk-up. No goats this year thank goodness. |
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REALLY...????
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REALLY...???? I see from your profile picture that you have expreience of the French Ultra Cortex Kinetic Erogenous Relay transmitter in Paris. That must have been exciting.
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the attack by those damn celibatist on the L I T has been waining for a short while. the meteor strike put a healthy jolt in the top comrads. My hope is they will all come to their senses and celebrate the Spring Equinox with the rest of us and there will be massive blooming by fall! All will be well by years end, as long as the goats stay away, of course. Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi  ..
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the attack by those damn celibatist on the L I T has been waining for a short while. the meteor strike put a healthy jolt in the top comrads. My hope is they will all come to their senses and celebrate the Spring Equinox with the rest of us and there will be massive blooming by fall! All will be well by years end, as long as the goats stay away, of course. A jolt in the top comrads sounds quite unpleasant Agent Z. Or am I thinking of gonads? I often am.
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Yes, the Agency motto should be "just say no to goats." A jolt in the top comrads sounds quite unpleasant Agent Z. Or am I thinking of gonads? I often am. Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi ..
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