10813 posts 9/13/2009 5:03 pm
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Bob's Weekly Advice.....
What the fuck is up all you nasty sluts and you dirty fucking perverts? It's that time of the week that you all look forward too, that time where Bob pops out of the pants of Massageman and Gives it to you doggy style right into the ears and eyes of you all. Giving you the answers to the burning questions or just that burning sensation that you have down in you neither regions that you ask in the pages of Ask Bob
Pull up a chair, Turn off the TV, Pull down your pants, Get out "The Jackhammer" out, Grab the lube and grab yourself, Here is that rubber clown you all hate to love, or love to hate, or love to love or hate to hate, ..... oh who cares what you think of him...... Here's BOB!!!!!
 
Thank you, Thank you, Spank You, and Then we'll tie you up you over there. You're all a bunch of dirty whores and nasty bastards today aren't you? And you know what? I love that about you all. You make me so Horny when you all act that way.
Did you all see that I took 's Sweet Ms. Potato Head and made her my Bitch? She is a dirty slut..... I mean it, Dirty, she comes out of the dirt you know? 
Bob's Bitch
So anyways, I digress.....
This weeks question comes from:
ISORareGem
Dear Bob,
BIG FAN! BIG FAN! I wait all week with great anticipation for your unique brand of wisdom.
What is the purpose of saran wrap? Seriously, I see it used in sex play, but is it stimulating? Is it more of an S&M thing? And how does one remove it- scissors? How big of a duffel bag does one pack when preparing for intimate encounters?
What is a Kimono condom? When shopping for condoms, how does one determine what would fit? I don't see small, medium, large sizes-- most of them seem to use names that indicate it is perfect for someone hung like a . Does one bring a playmate along to actually try on sizes like clothing?
thank you, the all powerful and wise Bob!
another 'born again virgin' who is totally CLUELESS.......
Wow, you've got a lot for me this week, let me get some water to prepare for the long speech that I'm about to give you and the millions of lovelies that also ponder these things.
Ahhhh, there we go.
What is the purpose of saran wrap?
It keep sex fresh. You've seen the commercials, it keeps things fresh. Duh, come on, you couldn't figure that one out?
Seriously, I see it used in sex play, but is it stimulating?
It can be if you put Ben-Gay and hot chillies on the inside  try it, I'm sure you'll find it most arousing and stimulating 
Is it more of an S&M thing?
Nope, it's a cooking thing, You wrap food with it to keep it fresh and sealed.
And how does one remove it- scissors?
Fastest way is with a blow torch..... But for those whom do not have one handy in their sex chest, remembering where you last put the end, sometimes a sharpie marker, and peal it slowly.... I hear that's the erotic part.
How big of a duffel bag does one pack when preparing for intimate encounters?
Duffel bag..... hun you're cutting yourself short. You need to get the U-Haul Trailer ready.
What is a Kimono condom?
I don't know, what about them? I'm more of a Trojan man myself. but apparently they are the thinnest out there.
When shopping for condoms, how does one determine what would fit?
Well look at the guys feet, Small feet, big meat..... so buy the Heafty bags.
Does one bring a playmate along to actually try on sizes like clothing?
You know, that's not a bad idea. Take you're play thing to the store with you. Open a box or ask for test samples, and tell him to whip out the little fella...... be sure to call it the little fella, and in front of everyone, try them on..... BRILLIANT!!!!!
Okay, I hope this better prepares you all to have your trailer of sex toys, condoms, and saran wrap ready in the even of a hook up.
Do you Dare ask bob a question? Do you have a burning question that only Bob can answer? Is it about how to put batteries in your toys? Is it how to suck a mean cock? Or how to run a naked mile safely? The best way to Set Up the video camera? Hell, do you just want to know how to be a better lover? Then just Ask Bob
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
 
 
       
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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18009 posts 9/13/2009 7:32 pm |
Cute?  ..... This was supposed to be informative and educational..... Cute? What's wrong with you? |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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18009 posts 9/14/2009 5:57 pm |
I'd love to put something in your oven  ..... just saying  |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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