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Experiences
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Experiences Below you will find a queston posted on another site and my response. Everyones experiences are different. Please feel free to post your insights. I would like to write Jill back with more then my response to help her out. So ladies any of your opinions, guidance, experiences you could share I think will help her out. Thanks Since my boyfriend and I started attending swing parties and playing with others I have realized how inexperienced I am at sex. I am relatively new at sex, I was a late bloomer having my first intercourse at twentytwo. And compared to the sex play that we are involved in know I have much to learn and I want to be able to please who I am with like I see others do. I guess I am not that new to actual sex but enough so that I still have a lot to learn. I was raised that this was something that a woman offers to keep her husband happy and other then the pure mechanics of sex or making of babies my mother offered little more instruction other then if I did it I could expect to become pregnant and ruin my life. My father never said any thing on this subject. And being a slightly plump geeky girl with glasses I did not attract much attention in that department. Until this spring Ben has only been my second boyfriend I have had sex with. He is also the most adventurous in sex that I have had. Until we started swing parties I thought I did what I could to make him happy. In truth I guess I never really gave it much thought. I always felt that the man would know what to do and my part was to make or let myself be available for what he wants. But now after several experiences at the parties we have attended and seeing what others do and having two different men have me I am embarrassed at my fear to do things for them. I want to be able to please Ben like the other women have. I have only been with two men at these parties. The first one tried to get me to do something to him but I really wasn’t comfortable with it all. I was very nervous being with him and not Ben. I recently spent time with an older man (I am 2  that I did not think I would be attracted to but went along with because my Ben was with his wife. He did things to me that I wasn’t even sure of and some that made me cry. Things that Ben hasn’t done. I certainly never experienced that before and I am very sure that I finally had my first orgasms in my life with him. I wanted to do things for him but I just could not bring myself to be that courageous. And I very much want to be like the other women and do the things I see that they do to men and mostly I want to really make Ben happy with me. I always feel like I am not doing anything during sex, I am laying there and I am willing to let him do what he wants to me. I will move where he tells me and I do get excited most times. But now I feel that the guy does all the work and I feel like I just lay there. I try to touch and move a bit but I am embarrassed that I will do something wrong. I feel like there is nothing to do and stuff I know that this isn’t the greatest and I think that I would like it more if I felt more involved. I could really use some advice on how to do that!Jill Fear and intimidation.......lack of confidence all play a roll in the first experiences of sexual lifestyle. For most this will change as time and experiences will offer. A willing partner you trust and feel comfortable being with will allow you to relax. Lights on exploring using your senses of touch, smell, hearing and taste will allow your mind to map your partner’s body and explore him/her at your pleasure....and theirs. I would suggest you make the time and ask your partner to just lay back and allow you to explore, as part of foreplay, your way around their body. Start with tracing each area of their body with your finger tips and then your hand. Then from there trace the same area with the tip of your nose, nuzzle each area, breath deep your partners scent and the way their body changes in each area....make note of what changes in them as they get excited. Trace your lips and then your tongue brushing then tasting each part of them. This process will excite your partner, extend foreplay and allow you an intimate knowledge of their body and it's reaction to each touch you give it. Lastly, use your whole body to rub and caress your partner’s body, feeling theirs against you and you against them. Do not be afraid to tell them what you want and that will encourage them to tell you what they want. On word of caution, your first experiences should be with someone you care for. Your boyfriend should be the recipient of your first experiences of a hand job, breast, your mouth, giving your first blow job and your first experiences of making him cum and receiving his cum. This should be part of your relationship with him. Then the two of you can decide together what you will share with others and what you will keep as personal to just the two of you. Above all you should not do things you are not ready for and feel comfortable with so you remain in control and only advance as you are comfortable with what you are doing. Sherper |
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