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Thinking of your mate......is something crucial being lost?
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Thinking of your mate......is something crucial being lost? Swinging and keeping it real. (sorry for the long read but follow along if you please) I wrote the below response as a result of a question asked by a friend…..the question was; I have been falling behind in blogging so, I read a comment recently that I disagree with so I thought I would blog about it. Call it semantics or whatever but, swinging is not "all about the women". I will concede the point that women can get more out of it (I am envious of that point), and without the women then it would just be a bunch of guys jacking off in a room (but at the same time without the men women would have a similar experience). But, as a couple it is a team event. We meet couples together and play together, the rules are slightly different at the parties but, the same general principle applies. This is not to say I don't think the women should not be treated like princesses. I always put Mary before myself, and I try to treat her like a princess. I just disagree that swinging is all about the women, it is at least 40% about the guys as well. I acknowledge I am going to be hammered about this (I think). And, I hope you ladies will still want to fuck me.....lol. M&M And my response……….. ......ahem....(steps up to the soap box).....your opinion being accepted...but also proves the point. The expression that swinging is all for or about the ladies is simple. You might be able to enjoy fully.....one to two women. On a good day, three or four? The ability to recover from orgasm and start again is very limited particularly the older most men get. Exactly the opposite as a woman matures. Women can if they choose enjoy not only multiple partners as a time but several over time. Second, although times have changed tremendously since 1950s and even the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s the ability for women to desire, participate freely, and enjoy their sexuality is still for the large part controlled and judged. We men are still very manly for bedding a woman or two on a night out with the boys and bragging rights that come with that from the age of ....well junior high, high school and beyond til the day we die. Women on the other hand better only be taking care of their husbands or be chaste. Even in this day and age. The swing lifestyle allows a woman to enjoy her sexuality and desires and explore her fantasies and sexual abilities without the harsh judgment of her peers....as most are in the same room or bed with her. It is their time. Lastly, I do not know of many couples who will go to a party or sexual meeting regardless of what the female half of that couple says. I know of most every couple I have met in this lifestyle if the lady is not comfortable ....they leave. Yeah there are some very self-centered men but even those will still bend to their wives/SO/girlfriends wishes in these matters. I am not talking opinion here or someone’s supposed observations. This is hosting parties....as you have...but for 8 years. Talking to ....thousands of couples.......singles.....blogs groups and forums. When it comes down to it with the couple in the room...what the wife/SO/girlfriend says or is willing to allow happen....happens. This isn't 100%...but I will state it is 85% accurate every time. It really boils down to this. If the lady is enjoying herself, is comfortable with what she is seeing, experiencing and doing then the male half of her is also by association having one hell of a good time. The only time this differs some is when the couple plays alone.....and separate. Some couples do, my experience is that they do not always remain couples very long in most instances when they choose to date/meet/play separately or alone. Couples who play as couples usually are active about the same as each other. And they allow each other to enjoy and experience different things. So in the end it isn't that static that it is all about women....it just works out that way. Sherper PS hope to see you all soon. I think it is crucial that I elaborate more on this. And again sorry that this is so long...but...I think there is something lost at times within this lifestyle as a person’s or couple’s experiences increase in time and the maturity curve that their experiences create. First, I do stand by what I said in my response. And without going into social implications of the sexual exploits of women and mental molding of the female’s self worth from toddlers I will leave it to stand alone. I want to talk and get the opinion of the ladies in the lifestyle on how they feel and the change they experienced and felt from the very first thought of entering this lifestyle to how they make that special part of their lives with their husbands/SO/boyfriends still special and separate and what they do specifically to make their husbands/SO/boyfriends experiences special. Keeping in mind that most the women in this lifestyle, safely 80% or better, are spoken for in some manner either married, living with someone or dating the one they arrived with or at the minimum lovers with that person. And what happens to them once they start in the lifestyle……sexual play, fucking freely, fantasy fulfillment, sexual experimentation while for the most part their husband/SO/boyfriend/mate steps back, encourages and supports this freedom. In the end, when all has been said and done, experiences had, what do you do to make this special person in your life feel special? To thank them for their support and their just being there with you, for you to experiment with whom you wish. When do you think of them and their fantasies and desires and if you do, what do you do? My second observation from hosting, parties, get togethers, intimate moments, fantasy quests and chatting with an endless stream of lifestylers across the continent and beyond is this: A subtle almost unspoken complaint from the many at times idle half of the couple attending lifestyle functions. Like a in a candy store. In this lifestyle we can create a fantasy world all its own. And once the taste of the sweet has been had and with a seemingly endless line of… “sweets”…experiences available it is very easy and most likely that those enjoying these experiences, one after another, in their excitement and frenzy forget the one they are with, the now shadow spouse/SO/lover who is at the party…somewhere. Keep in mind that most parties do host several single men to “help” in create a sexually charged atmosphere. Of coarse this always lends itself to more men then women…hence more men for the women….however many times it is a husband/SO/boyfriend that is usually left behind while the lady indulges in several playmates. It is the way of the lifestyle for most. The lady who enjoys two or more men at a time regularly which may or may not include their spouse/SO/lover, but nonetheless most often experienced situation at any party is always a multiple lovers situation. Sometimes for the couple it is two or three men they see regularly other times it is thru chance encounters. None the less for many once the couples have arrived the ladies at the party, with full acceptance and sometimes with participation of their mates are free to enjoy whom ever she wishes throughout the event….be her alter self….her alter sexual self. The question would arise sooner or later. When and what do you do for the special person that arrived with you? The one you go home with, the one you are most safe and secure with. Although he may not be able to enjoy 3-8 lovers thru an evening or a gang bang of women for him, or enjoy being double teamed. When you think of him what do you envision to do for him as something special? Or, and this causes in my opinion more stress and break up of otherwise great relationships; the “treatment” that seems to be given to the single lovers of the moment, that added sizzle, that unbridled sexual wildness that may be perceived as not being present unless attending a party with others. When do the ladies of their lives lavish them with the same or similar experiences that this special man has arranged for them? I have asked this question many times over the years in varying ways, subtly, at parties and gatherings. I used to be kind of shocked at the responses I would hear. Some, very few, would get a special something. An arranged FMF on occasion or from time to time the evening or party would be something special to include them in with. A special group or situation. But the answer I hear most often, and keep in mind this is from couples who are very active in the lifestyle and usually with some time involvement, usually years. The most often heard response. “I have him all the time at home, this is my time”. Which I can see, but, at some point do the tables do not turn, if just for an evening? I am going to give two of the best examples I have ever heard of and ask for your responses. A group in the state of Pennsylvania who meet regularly for parties hosted at one private location has once a month a Kings night. This party starts late afternoon and is attended largely by couples only with a few solo/single ladies. The theme of the party is stated in the name. They often will try to arrange the evening or event around a current or previously recorded sport event or on occasion some other added theme. The men are treated thru the night. Completely lavished and sexually catered to. They ladies of this group do this in love and respect to their mates for their freedom for the remaining parties thru the month not in payment or out of some debt. Men are treated to most any sexual encounter they would desire. The remaining months parties are centered on the women. This party also has a high attendance of older members. All are over thirty five and most are forties and above. Also in general I have heard from several couples of how the woman would “arrange” at their home or hotel (rarely at a party function) a day, afternoon or evening where she and a lady friend would cater sexually to her man. Sometimes it is a personally close couple that joins them and the two ladies take turns pleasing as a team the two men in their lives. The best was once couple when she would from time to time set up a weekend away with her man and a lady friend. Everywhere they would go would be her man, her and her friend on his arm. Dinner, night out, dancing, sight seeing etc. But back at the Hotel they would lavish him sexually for the evening. Wonderful lady!! So, with all the men, husbands, boyfriends, lovers that help arrange for the pleasure of their ladies……..what do the ladies do special for thier man? |
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Wow, this is what we do. lol. We go to a party married then act like singles when we get there. He does his thing and I do mine. Yes I do get a whole lot more then he, I have also learned how to ask for it when I want it. LOL What do I do for my man, well sunday mornings are always for me and him to talk about the night before and as we get turned on about it we make love, not sex but passionate love. As for a special treat for him, well he has me, lol, just kidding. I have gotten a girl toy for him that he really likes, and will make plans for anyone he would like to have. Would love to set him up with 2 girl toys and just watch and take photos, he would love that, any single ladies want to help??? Get blog guys, bet it has alot of ladies thinking
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Well, since I started this I suppose I should comment...lol. I never meant to infer that the men were being ignored. Having hosted parties and had ample opportunity to observe the interactions I found that most couples looked out for each other. Most often they were checking in with one another to make sure they are having a good time. But, that was my point..a team sport if you will. I had not really witnessed a female just going off on their own and leaving their husband to sit in a corner alone (well, that is not true, I did see that once). M Come View my latest Blogs QuietPassion69, don't forget to comment! Latest "special" Blogs.... Ohsighso disappointed on this one Meet, Greet, and squirt Halloween ballwhat was bumping in the night Wow, Hot Sexy Times in the back woods of Maine QP, then Oh My Heartthe night my heart stood stillbut cock stayed hard Come Join Our Groups Sluts R Us Massachusetts Sluts R Us Vermont Sluts R Us
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....continuing from above. I do not want to have anyone think that I am railing on women leaving thier husbands/SO/Boyfriends alone while they go skipping from room to room. This is very rare and usually with some reason when it does happen either thru choice, thier chosen turn-on....or other agreement that has been made. There are many who once they arrice thier standard mode is to mingle out thru the crowd and join with who they wish. As many as those who may choose to stay and only play as a couple to another couple. I am refering to those that thier spouses take the time and effort to coordinate special situations and events for their loving spouse/SO/girlfriend. For those times when she might slip a little over the top or do something different that they had not really agreed to fully but none the less let things go so not to disrupt her pleasure. The extras that He does to make sure she really enjoyes herself. So that being said, the question is still there. What does she do or what does she think she would like to do to return the favor. How would she do this. Has she done this. I offered examples of a couple I will offer a few more personal ones. Misty is not ...well...girl friendly meaning that she is very shy around other women. It is hard for her to make friends with...see herself be accepted by other women. hope I said all this right. So for her the few times she has tried to arrange something with her and I were maybe not what she had hoped for....but it took everything she had to try to arrange it. My personality is different. She can say she is interested in that man over there or those guys play pool...... and I do not have a problem or issue going over and asking them to join us...for her pleasure. As a couple we usually do things together. So I am included with what we do...and she is with me. In our closer circle of friends if we end up in seperate open bedrooms while doing this it happens now and agian. But this is what works for us. I have found that many women enjoy what is available at parties.....enjoy thier freedom at parties....many prefer to play without thier husbands/SO/boyfriend present (that is ok if that is their choice) and they love when thier husband/SO/boyfriend agrees to or sets up any sort of "wild" situation. Threesomes, foursomes, multiple men use your imagination. My questions is what do these women do to make things special now and again for thier man who did this for them?Sherper
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