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Blue Screen (opening scene)
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Blue Screen (opening scene) Jeff’s phone chimed insistently for the twentieth time in the last few minutes . The small part of his mind that noticed dismissed it – that dweeb Hopper had been harassing him the last few days with his accusations of “plagiarism”, a notion so irrational it didn’t even signify a response . If anything the losers in his writing group were more likely to steal his work . But he barely noticed anyway – he had been writing feverishly for almost 9 hours straight . After being stuck with writer’s block for weeks the dam had finally broken when he verbally abused that barista at Blue Bottle . Not a real writer ? In a few months that bitch would be begging him for his dick pics . He grinned to himself thinking of it – she thought she was so hot and above him , he pictured her on her hands and knees in front of him – literally begging him . He’d wipe that annoying hot girl smirk off her face . Women didn’t know their place anymore , that’s why everything was going crazy with the world now , Jeff didn’t see why no one else could understand that – and that’s why a book like the Owl Keeper’s Concubine was so important . A taut , erotic thriller was just the thing people needed to remind them of how things used to be – and how they could again . The Owl Keeper’s Concubine would be bigger than the Da Vinci Code , the Owl Keeper’s Concubine would be bigger than Harry Potter , it would even be bigger than Your Erroneous Zones ! They’d probably make it into a movie but Jeff didn’t care about that , the money would be great , but literature is how you change the world not film . No one seemed to understand that anymore either . Did the latest super-hero schlock change anything in the world ? Of course not . Writers still had that power as much as the world might be filling up with illiterate morons who didn’t recognize true genius when it sent them unsolicited dick pics . He was so in the zone that at first he was annoyed when a window popped up on his ASUS K-Series Flagship Model laptop . I mean a pop-up ad ? What is this 2003 ? What’s next a Norah Jones song ? Madonna kissing Brittany Spears ? The dude from Three’s Company dying ? But it wasn’t an ad , it was a webcam shot of a bathroom through the door from a bedroom it looked like . He frowned , he was watching some porn earlier , did he forget to close a tab ? He had found a clip of a woman who looked a lot like the bitch from the coffee shop had had himself a good old time watching her get gang-banged but a bunch of roided-out mesomorphs . He was pretty sure he had closed that window though . Oh well , no time for that now , he had really gotten rolling with the Owl Keeper’s Concubine and he was going to stick with it , he tried to close the window but for some reason it didn’t respond . He was on the verge of real anger , which is not a place he wanted to be – bad for the craft – when suddenly he gasped . Julie ! That was Julie that just walked into frame wearing a towel . That sly little minx – he knew she was playing hard to get . All those time in group when she had given him the cold shoulder , always saying she was too busy for drinks , always criticizing his writing as “male-centric” , whatever that even means . Lately she had taken to telling him she had a boyfriend even – which was obviously a lie . And now here she was sending him live footage of herself taking a shower . What a hardcore slut . He knew it , she acted all snooty and demure but underneath it all she was just a bitch in heat like all the rest . He chuckled , he had to give her credit – leading him on all those months to finally let him know she was interested like this ? Baller move . He hit save on version 47 of the Owl Keeper’s Concubine and watched with baited breath as Julie milled around the bathroom . He started to get annoyed because she wasn’t being very sexy , there was something very prosaic about her little movements – she didn’t even look back at the camera – but then he realized what she was doing . She was setting up a truly voyeuristic experience for him – she was acting like she didn’t know he was watching . She was making herself vulnerable instead of performing for him like a . Once he realized that it was driving him wild . He was starting to get upset again at how long she was dragging things out when she finally dropped the towel . Jeff flinched as if subjected to a physical assault – somewhere deep , deep in his psyche was the part of him that never expected he’d ever get to see Julie naked . Her body was even more perfect than in his fantasies . But what really got him is when she let down and shook out her long dark hair – she always wore it up in group meetings , no matter how many times he told her she’d be more attractive if she let it down – and if she smiled more . She’s sometimes acted kind of pissy about his suggestions before but now here she was – clearly she had remembered . She didn’t smile obviously because that would have ruined the illusion but she knew what he liked and wanted to please him . He got a special little charge when he noticed that she had a tattoo on her left ass cheek – a little pair of dice with the words “Hard Eight” . He never would have guessed but it turned out Julie was a naughty , naughty girl – he didn’t know exactly what it meant but he’d plenty of time to find out once they were together , once she was his . She must have gotten it at Tattoo 13 – the image of her pulling down her pants and exposing her plump , juicy buttocks to some skeezy tattoo artist almost made him cum . He traced his finger over his cock through his Bonobos Heathland Golf slacks just like he would trace the outline of that tattoo soon . As she stepped into the shower and turned on the water he laughed to himself “Don’t mind of I do” and jerked down his pants and his Mack Weldon Airknitx . As he grasped his shaft though he stopped . Julie had gone to all this trouble to set this up – and he was just going to make it a quick rub and tug ? No , that wasn’t right . He needed to do this properly . His American Bombshell Fat Man butt plug was near at hand but his Kendra Lust Life Size Celebrity Booty Stroker was in the washing machine from earlier . He jumped up to grab it so quickly he forgot about his pants and tripped - his fall was cushioned by the layer of dirty clothing and discarded foodstuffs in his slovenly subterranean bedroom . He grabbed the carefully mold specially formulated TPE and gave it a quick rinse off under the sink , knocking over the pile of dirty dishes , before leaping back into his chair . He was afraid that Julie might be done but surely she was going to put on a nice long show for him . He forced himself to calm down and take a deep breath before he forced the butt plug into himself and took that deep as well . He positioned the stoker in front of the keyboard and slopped a liter of ID Millennium Silicone Lubricant onto it , clumsy in his haste , and went to work . Soon enough he was pounding away like the true stud that he was – which Julie was going to found out in real life soon enough . Part of him wondered what it would be like to have sex without paying for it . It was at this point that Jeff started wishing that Julie would break character a little bit – she was showering in a very workmanlike manner . She could have made it a little sexier for Christssake – there’s no point in being married to a narrative to the point where it hurts what you’re trying to do . They’d be plenty of time for him to teach her how to be sexy for him in the future – for now he’d just have to make due . He really got going when Julie stepped out of the shower and started to dry off . Now she was working it , toweling off her big<b> bouncy </font></b>boobs . And finally she did turn and look right at the camera . Jeff didn’t even notice the confused look on her face , as if she was saying “I don’t remember leaving my laptop there” as he popped himself out of the stoker and in the throes of passion was about to shoot his load directly onto the screen of his computer – directly onto Julie’s image . That’s when the laptop clamped shut on his member . Jeff’s scream was so high-pitched and animal-like he didn’t even realize that it was coming from him at first . Jeff leapt up , knocking his chair over – the laptop somehow staying attached to his cock and pulling down with its dead weight . Having five pounds attached to your junk doesn’t seem like much , until it happens to you . The pain was mind-erasing . Falling into an agonized crouch Jeff grabbed the laptop and tried to force it open – only to feel a sudden pain in his fingers . He yanked his hands away , ripping them wide open and sending blood spraying everywhere . Were those . . . . teeth ? Sobbing with pain Jeff wedged his shredded fingers into the laptop and bore down with all his strength trying to open the vise-like “jaws” – he’d never exerted himself physically so much in all his life . His face turned so red it was almost purple . The butt plug was ejected unceremoniously from his asshole . His limbs trembled with effort and sweat poured off his body to mingle with the blood on the ground . He couldn’t even budge it . After a moment though the laptop fell away , hitting the pizza boxes on the floor an gently coming to rest . At first Jeff was relieved , but then he realized – he didn’t feel nearly as much pain “down there” anymore . Whimpering he slowly forced himself to look down at the bloody nightmare between his thighs . He moaned as he saw the ruins of his once mighty male genitalia . Remember Hedwig and the Angry Inch ? Jeff was barely left with a pissed off centimeter . He toppled to the floor lifelessly . He tried to scream , to shout , but he was hyperventilating so badly that he couldn’t catch his breath enough to do anything but make soft chuffing sounds . Was he having a heart attack as well ? Does getting your dick cut off cause heart attacks ? Marshalling what little fortitude he had he started to shakily pull himself to the table where his phone sat – occasionally still buzzing tenaciously . Blood pumped out of his body at a furious rate , he felt his life draining away , but he was able to drag himself over and grab the phone . His hands were slippery with blood and he dropped it several times – he giggled hysterically thinking that it’s a good thing he got the OtterBox Defender Series iPhone Case . He barely managed , whole body trembling , to punch the three numbers 9-1-1 and when the voice came “911 what’s your emergency ?” he saw it . The blood , HIS blood , was running towards the laptop like iron filings being attracted to a magnet . The blood was being sucked into a small port of the side of the machine . And he could swear that he heard . . . . SLURPING . His phone dropped numbly out of his hand as he watched every single drop of blood being impossibly drawn into his computer . Just before he passes out Jeff the laptop opens back up and inexplicably turn the screen towards him , where just for a moment a blank white face appears and whispers “The Owl Keeper’s Concubine is terrible Jeff . . . .” We then pan down to see the text messages on the phone ; “Jeff is something weird going on with your laptop ?” “Are you there , I think something strange is going on ?” “Jeff I think you should stay off your computer for a while , some weird stuff is going on with some of the people in the group .” “Jeff are you there ?” “Jeff don’t touch your laptop ! Text me back as soon as you can .” “Jeff you need to call me immediately !” Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Is the proverbial blue screen of death still a thing or is that a dated reference ? What are some other potential titles for a movie about killer laptops ? I thought about Killtop but that could be in reference to any number of things . I like Traptop too but it seems a little too cutesy . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Holy shit, that's just the OPENING scene? I like the idea of a laptop getting fed up with all of the crappy stuff being written on it. Although if that were the case I'd be in big trouble    
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Great story..... "Tales of Halloweenie" 
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