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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
How to be a third wheel
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How to be a third wheel What do presidential candidates and orgasms have in common ? There's only ever been one legitimate female one . JOKE I often think that I am no good at anything but that's just the bad monster that lives inside me being a jerk because the truth is there's lots of things that I'm good at . And because I like to pretend that I like helping people here's some tips I can give you on something I do well - being a third wheel . Being the third wheel isn't the greatest but let's face it , it's the best some of us are ever going to do . So here are the keys to doing it the right way .  Don't be lame The number one thing you have to resist is the compulsion to comment on the situation . The easiest way to make being a third wheel not fun is to make it awkward . Try not to constantly refer yourself as a “third wheel” and lament your singleness . Be sure to avoid wallowing in your self-pity and making things uncomfortable for the couple you are with . If you can swing it don't talk about yourself at all - engage the couple you're with about them . Be the conversation lubricant not the conversation dental dam . Have a positive attitude Ha ! Me , 40deuce saying to have a positive attitude ? Crazy ! But this is key . Having a shitty attitude never makes anything better dong ma ? Although cab be a little demoralizing with the right mental framework you can make it a positive experience . One easy way to do that is to act like you are having a good time and not be a downer . Be chatty and engaging . Get all liquored up if you need to . If you act like you are having fun 3% of the time you find that you are actually having a good time and most importantly you won't annoy everyone else . Bring your phone 40 you don't even have a phone . Shut up , I'm being an<b> expert </font></b>here . Bring Although it is typically considered VERY rude to be on your phone when spending time with others , it can be be a lifesaver in a third wheel situation . It can also serve as a nice distraction from the couple . Try not to be rude but , if your couple friends are ignoring you , your phone might save the day. A phone can also give you some distance from the romantic couple you know , mentally . Let them know if they're being gross Worst case scenario for being a third wheel is that the people you are with start getting hot and heavy (without including you , otherwise its the best case scenario) . If you are out with a couple and they start making out or fingerblasting you should definitely let them know about I t. Ask them to stop and , if they do not, bail like a community college drop out . That is really inappropriate and you might want to reconsider hanging out with them in the future . Bail If you find yourself in a third wheel situation and it is miserable , just get out of there . Say that you have diphtheria or that you have to take your cat to the gynecologist . You could also just be honest and say that you are not having much fun but that's for losers . Regardless , bug out on being a third wheel and go somewhere else . Find out where your single friends are and go hang out with them - OH WAIT you're the only single person IN THE WORLD !!! Go home and watch porn . In other news I was talking to lady and the other day and she told me that it's not a "date" unless you bang . Otherwise it's just "going out for dinner" or "going to a movie" or what have you . I find this problematic in many ways - not the least of which is that means you don't know if it's a date until after it's over . It's like Schrodinger's Date . So I mentioned this to her and she sneered and said "women know if they're going to have sex with a guy days ahead of time" . Excusez-moi ? Frist of all I don't believe that . Secondly if it is true why don't you just tell the guy ahead of time so if you're not going to have sex he can cancel . Oh snap ! And thirdly does that mean the guy doesn't get a say at all ? All men are just DTF 24/7/365 ? Yeah , I suppose they kind of are . Anyway , I accused her of being a daterapist and she rejoined "I was acquitted on those charges" which was pretty funny . For a woman . Oh snap !  And finally , I often wondered if anyone had ever used a vibrator as an actual massager and it turns out that's a thing . Someone woman (and men) swear but the Hitachi magic wand as a neck and shoulder massager . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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My third wheel situations tend to go pretty well, but then me and my friends are so old that a breakout of fingerbanging isn't really a concern.  
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Too bad we don't live closer to each other. You would never have to be a third wheel. Later,  
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I met a woman who early in our second data - and midway through my first pint that evening - decided we had to go back to hers to fuck. I asked her when she had decided she wanted me... "Oh, 30 seconds into our first date". After making that decision she'd calmly sat through the first date waiting to see if I'd fuck things up. Got to admire that kind of cold-hearted calculation.
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as women age, not all dates are about fucking. only about 75% are. the other 25% are just about the date. or well, tbh, the food. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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Never been a third wheel and don't think I would want to, sounds complicated. Vive La Difference
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