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| Blogs > demonicsexkitten > Life, or something like it |
Monday Post: Updated
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Monday Post: Updated I've started writing 3 different blog posts today. All have been deleted. My thoughts for today: Touch my mind. If you can touch my mind: maybe you'll touch my heart. Touch my heart: who knows? Maybe physical intimacy will follow. Maybe not. If intimacy happens (physical or otherwise): maybe you will touch my soul. But sometimes I screw up the order. A few months back another blogger caught my mind and I was so drawn to him -- when we discovered it was a mutual thing I just opened right up and jumped into the bright sunlight that is his soul. It was a glorious and beautiful few weeks, then his life fell into change. It was all mind, heart, soul and mental intimacy (not physical). We still talk, but not the deep connecting like before. I miss that connection. You have to love to be loved. Open yourself to the risk of being hurt in the gamble to find loving joy. But it gets so wearying at times. Opening oneself to love sometimes seems like a form of<b> masochism. </font></b>  I'm feeling very needy right now. Plenty of male friends and would-be lovers (if we lived in the same state or country), or they weren't married, etc. But I just really want a pair of loving arms around me, a shoulder to lean upon, somebody to whisper in my ear "it will be okay. I'm here for you" and actually BE here. Soul connection would be nice too. In about 2 hours I have to go to a surgeon's office for a consultation on my leg, and they may do an outpatient treatment or may decide to hospitalize me. My doctor visit yesterday didn't go so great. The blister caused by my allergic reaction to the tefla pad is down 50% but the skin where the tefla touched is still flame red. The blister caused by the allergic reaction to the paper tape is gone but skin still red. The initial wound: not getting better (Frankly I think my body is now in a state of confusion over what injury needs the most attention). She tried surgically cleaning it out but there is now a ton of scar tissue and she couldn't quite get all of it because it hurt towards the end and I caused more injury by jerking my leg. I'm scared. I can't afford to miss work. And REALLY don't want hospitalization. Sorry if I'm being overly dramatic or too sharing or whatever. I'm just stuck in my own thoughts and worrying. Ugh... now I want to delete THIS post too but I'm hitting send anyhow. Update: No hospitalization needed. Surgeon decided the wound was cleaned out enough and looked pretty good now. Plus he'd be afraid to touch it until my latex reaction heals a lot more. The Dr on Wednesday misspoke. Tefla pads have Latex, not sulfa. Other things with latex: The stretchy "sticks to itself" type bandage wraps, and the stretchy cotton netting they have. I'm now using 100% cotton gauze pads and wraps. Crazy that, even though records show allergies clearly, you still have to question EVERYthing. |
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You are not being overly dramatic. Being in hospital for any length of time is scary. And I understand about not being able to afford to miss work, but you will miss more if you don't look after yourself and heal completely. I hope you have good friends and/or family that you can lean on while you go through this tough time. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way  "I'm always disappointed when a liar's pants don't actually catch on fire..."
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demonicsexkitten replies on 10/20/2014 7:49 pm: *HUGS* Back! And thank you. BTW: Love your wife's pic Aw, thank you! I'll tell her you said so. (I like it a lot too!) Become a member now and get a free tote bag.
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Hugs and kisses from a faraway wannabe lover.  I hope you are taking care of yourself. Rest as much as you can, so your body can use its energy for healing. Put off anything demanding that can be put off. When I'm convalescing, I like to watch favorite movies or TV episodes that I've seen before. It's soothing, and doesn't tax the brain with a lot of new information. Mental energy isn't a metaphor. The brain runs on glucose, and uses more when it's active. I'm glad you didn't delete the post. It's exactly the right amount of sharing.
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First, best wishes for your health then it is good chance to have a good relationship with a special person (At least for us) things change, the time and life can change people ... It's up to us when we find a special person to make change everything for the better
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Glad to hear the leg issue is clearing up -- albeit not without a lot of sturm und drang. Heal quickly... and that includes your heart, too! Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic
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Big Hugsssssssss to you! I get started a few times on blog threads and total don't get finished either.. Always remember to take care of yourself first! Health comes first! hugssssssssssssss V Become a blog watcher sweet_vm
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Can't seem to get myself to post anything new. I think I'm bored with myself!  At some point I'll think of something blogworthy. Hope you get better soon. I'm doing a bit of healing myself!  insert exploding bomb image here
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It might be a good idea to get someone to massage that leg. A proper massage has a similar effect to elevation, promoting drainage from capillaries and veins back toward the heart. Maybe check with doc.
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Tell him you'll owe him a favor, but not that kind of favor
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