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She Keeps Pulling Me Back In
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She Keeps Pulling Me Back In So the phone rings around 10:30 last night as I am finishing up my ice cream and contemplating getting ready for bed. It scared me for a minute as nobody has called me that late on a weeknight in a couple of years now, at least not since the lover I had at the time and I started going sepearate ways in our life. I was a bit worried that maybe something happened to a family member or something. But, the number on the caller ID was a local number and since I have no immediate family in the 919 area code I breathed a little easier. In fact I didn't recognize the number at all and there was not a name displayed just a number. I figured what the hell I'll answer anyway, and given the time of day odds are it is not a telemarketer probably just a wrong number. Low and behold on the other end is my long time ex-lover whom I have not spoken with directly in over a year and a half. We had chatted last week over the Holiday weekend via IM and we had talked about doing a better job of staying in touch with each other so I had an inkling it may have been her calling. Apparently she has gotten a new phone number since I spoke with her last. So, anyway over about 45 minutes or so we have a nice chat getting caught up with what each other has been doing the past year or so. I tell her about my kitties and looking for a new place to move and she tells me about how she is taking classes in preparation for taking the realtor exam so she can sell real estate in North Carolina and she asks if she can use me as a professional reference as we worked together at one point in time. It really was good to hear from her again, but now I am wondering what comes next. Will it just be an innocent platonic relationship or will it get hot and heavy again? At this point in time I am happy with either. Given that I have not gotten laid in quite awhile and she is awesome in bed a roll in the hay would be welcomed, but she is a really cool person and I am happy just keeping her as a friend. There are quite a few reasons I am pondering over this. One is she is single again and has been for a few months and sex is one of her weaknesses. Another is the discrete nature of our sex life together. Nobody else knows about it and she trusts me not to tell anyone else about it. Third, is when she is not exclusively seeing anyone she has a propensity to go back and fuck guys she has been with in the past instead of trolling for a one night stand. Lastly, is her impeccable timing. We were never really 'exclusive' with each other it was your basic friend with benefits relationships and she always encouraged me to go and find a traditional girlfriend as she really does not have many problems attracting guys, her only problem is she goes with the wrong ones. The last two times I started getting interested in someone she always seemed to be there to reel me back in. The first time I was pondering fucking around with a mutual friend of ours. Our friend (We will call her T) was a bit mental and clingy but at the time I didn't really care she was attractive and I was kind of interested in<b> experimenting </font></b>with someone else as I was not getting any at the time from my lover anyway. T and I had flirted with the idea of hooking up a couple of times but nothing came of it. Since my friend with benefits had not given me any in a while as she was kind of seeing someone else at the time so I was sort of ambivalent about her warnings. It turns out that T was interested in the same guy my lover was messing with at the time and I was being warned that T only wanted to fuck me to try and make her jealous. Nobody knew about our sexual relationship but our friends knew we were pretty close so T thought she could sort of drive a wedge between us by giving me some pussy. My lover even went as far as to start having sex with me again so I would lose interest in T. The second time I had started a semi-relationship with someone but it really was not going anywhere special other than being a sexual relationship. Again my lover popped in to give me some and she didn't know anything about this other woman and I slowly started forgetting about her. The reason I bring this up is I have been hanging with someone off and on lately and there may be a chance it could develop into more, but right now we are just friends and are leaving it at that. Neither one of us has broached the idea of taking it to another level, but she did have the chance to hook up with a guy when we were out with friends and co-workers on Saturday Night and she didn't do it. I don't know if it was because of me or not, in the past she probably would have jumped at the chance; especially since our other female friends we were hanging with were drooling over the guy. I also feel like our connection grows a bit deeper every time we hang out and talk. Hell, we even going as far as buying a 10-game pack of season tickets for the Canes next season. She has been burned pretty badly with her relationships the past couple of go arounds and it has only been a couple of months since the last one so I am not really pushing the idea on her and I know she is not actively looking for anyone right now. Given the past relationship with who was once my lover I cannot help but wonder what is lurking around the corner. |
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I hope you stick with the new woman. Your ex sounds kind of flakey. It never hurt anyone to go without sex for a while. At least give the new one a chance to let you know how she feels. "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." 
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Yeah, she is a bit flaky but she is also a lot of fun both in and out of the bedroom. As it stands, I don't intend on pursuing anything other than a platonic relationship with her, but if she comes at me looking for sex it will be very, very hard to turn down.
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